Happy Father's Day

As you know each Spring we head to Saba with a group of fun, service filled, intentional, relationship seeking folks. Saba is one of 22 locations Lipscomb descends upon every March. Many people make lots of things happen for these trips to be possible. My sweet friend Erin Gupton has overseen the compiling and publishing of a devotional guide for the past two years. It has been a beautiful addition to Lipscomb's Spring Break Missions. Knowing 22 teams are spread out all over the globe, but are focusing on the same thoughts daily is more than moving. Miles separate us, but we are one.

This past Spring she asked me to contribute to the devo guide. My topic was grace and forgiveness. As you may see on this blog, that topic is a big part of my heart. What I wrote about is very fitting to share today. 

Happiest of Father's Day to Edward Anderson...the truest of examples of my Good, Good Father.

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I can remember the first time I knew I had actually sinned. It was a lie. At seven years old and in second grade, the greatest fear I had was disappointing my parents. So when I messed up at school, my first inclination was to hide the fact that I had gotten in trouble.

It was easy to hide my mistakes that afternoon for a while. My mother questioned me a bit, and then we went about a normal afternoon at the Anderson house. But then my father came home.  My little mind had not a clue my mother was suspicious.  She asked me to describe the events of the day to my daddy and he listened carefully.,taking in my deceptive take on it. After I finished, he put me on his knee and asked with kindest voice, "Are you sure that is how it happened?"

I can remember the heaviness in my heart and how the lump in my throat got so big that I couldn't swallow. My earthly father made it so incredibly easy to shed tears and tell him exactly what had happened and that I had lied to cover up what I had done.

For a brief moment I can remember the sting of the fear of punishment.  I dreaded what was about to be dealt. But what was said was a bit different than my seven year old self expected.

My dad began to tell me that yes, I had messed up, made a mistake, but that did not make me a bad person. He knew me that I would never be perfect and he was good with that. He forgave me and was proud that I had told him the truth in the end. And I have always remembered the last thing he told me before I hopped off his knee..."I love you. Learn from this mistake."

My earthly father extended the most loving grace to me that afternoon, and many more times in my life since. He forgave without a heavy dose of disappointment and punishment, knowing that the regret that I carried was enough of a load. He taught me to forgive.

What is so amazing though is that this example is but just a glimpse of the grace and forgiveness extended from my Heavenly Father.  Once you know His grace, you have to work extremely hard to get loose from it's grip.  It forgives easily.  It guides lovingly.  It completely erases wrongs.

We will still feel the lump in our throat at times. The sting of fear will be present at times. But...

If you are open to His grace, if you strive to embrace and understand His forgiveness, if you accept it, the grace and forgiveness that you then will extend to others comes easily.  Realizing that the sins that plague you nailed Christ on the cross, that He felt every burden of our sins with every sting of the whip and pierce of the thorns, that He felt the shame and guilt even though He was completely blameless...and still the Father forgives you fully, completely, freely...that is more than freeing! It allows you to forgive like He has and does. It allows you to show the most amazing mercy.  It allows you to love relentlessly. His grace and forgiveness will allow you to forgive the little things and prepare you toll the road to forgiveness when someone you love deeply wrongs you terribly.

So during this time on your given mission, extend grace and forgiveness in the little ways. Practice it. When someone says something the wrong way or in the wrong tone, don't be so easily offended. When someone takes the last two strips of bacon at breakfast, be happy for them. When your teammate leaves a mess and you help clean it up, have a good attitude and a servant heart. If someone wrongs you, keep no record of it. Forgive. Show mercy. Extend grace. Be a glimpse of the forgiveness and grace extended to you every second, every minute, of every day.

By the way, I told my dad that I was telling you this story of my childhood mistake. He had no recollection of it.  Our Father's forgiveness...isn't it grand!?

Where Is The Grace?

I pulled up Facebook a few weeks back. Killing some time as I sat alone on a bench waiting for eleven other people to come out of a bathroom at Disney World. Do you know how many bathroom breaks a party of 12 has to take while vacationing at The Happiest Place on Earth?! Some people have the bladder of a flea...but I love them completely, tiny bladder and all. And I digress...

So there I was scrolling down the news feed, and a post caught my eye. A friend was irritated and put out.

We have all been there. Hungry. In a hurry. In need of fast food. And fast is the last thing the food is, not to mention it isn't even what was ordered. And then round two fails at order promptness and correctness.

You huff and puff a bit but you don't yell. You do not throw insults at the cashier. But what do you do when your feathers get ruffled...you take to Facebook and you rant.

Where is the grace?

A few years back when my 12 year old was ten years less, we were visiting friends in Mexico. Jackson was introduced to Jamaica, a kool aid type drink made from the Hibiscus flower. To say he loved it is an understatement.

As we sat with friends at one of our favorite local taco joints, Jackson sipped away on the deep dark red juice. And before we knew it, most of us were suddenly covered and stained from the toddlers drink of choice.

I jumped up, panicking, frustrated, embarrassed.

Where is the patience?

On Wednesday afternoons during the school year, I help out at an after school program with the church family of which I am a part. We snack, we play, we serve, and we learn. Anywhere between 50 to 75 kids are in attendance on a given day.

Most days are good, and the kids are happy.  But they are kids. They have arguments, they act out, and they throw slurs.

"That's stupid."

"I am not your friend anymore!"

"You are an idiot!"

Where did they learn this stuff from?

The access to information on this earth now is unprecedented. In order to know something we want to know all we have to do is Google it, get on Facebook, or check the latest tweet. The days of just watching the local news are a thing of the past.

You know what your neighbor is eating for dinner, not to mention the latest social news that everyone is talking about. In a year's span we talk about politics, issues concerning gender, mission work and religion, how others parent, and how we treat animals.

Alot of us become obsessed and lash out at all others that have differing opinions than we do.  We are quick to point out how others mess up and how they could do better.

Where is the humility?

You may be wondering where I am going with all this. My heart is heavy. I look at us and the world in which we live and can see that we are screwing a lot of things up. We have opportunities everyday to make the world better. We squander these moments due to short tempers, busy schedules, and the absence of grace.

Instead of seeing the good in people, we size them up and place judgement in their actions, words, and intentions.

We see the mom loose it in the grocery aisle and immediately think she is a horrible mother. The cashier messes up the amount of change he gives us back. We snap at him and are appalled he can't even do simple math.  Our kid's teacher forgets to send home the school newsletter. Oh my goodness, we aren't going to know what is for lunch or what is going on this week in class! Can't she get her act together?!  A child at church is out of control and has bad manners. This child gets on our nerves. The simple answer in our minds is a good spanking or scolding.

We don't always only have these attitudes toward strangers.  It seeps into our homes and our friendships and in the mirror.  Dads are hard on sons, wanting them to act like "men" well before the times are passed when they just need to be a little boys.  Us wives sit around in our circles and complain about our husbands shortcomings. We beat ourselves up when we forget something, double book our calendars, or can't be like the other lady down the street who "has it all together".

We live in a world filled with judgment, negativity, and assumptions. We are hard on each other. We are hard on ourselves. Harshness is dealt on a daily basis, in reality, for the simplest of mistakes.

I love to read the stories in the Bible and see all the things that our Jesus did. But we can learn a lot from what he didn't do.

In all four gospels, we read of Peter. He makes me smile a lot. He is full of less than holy humanity much of the time, but God turned his imperfections into the most beautiful story.

Probably the most noted story we read of Peter deals with him denying Christ. We have just read of his friendship and love declaration to Jesus at the Last Supper. And then we see him not once, not twice, but three times deny that he even knew his fearless leader and friend. He weeps and then he disappears from scripture for a bit.

In John 21, we see Peter and Jesus reunited. At first Peter can't even tell it's Christ on the shore, but when he does, his reaction is beautiful. Peter is too excited to row the boat to shore. He jumps out of his fishing boat and swims to where Jesus is. Can you imagine his joy? His best friend and Savior is alive! But I also bet he had a bit of fear.

"Is he going to still love me after I disowned him?"

In the true nature of himself, Jesus then serves his friends...he cooks dinner for them. They eat together. Then scripture lets us see a conversation between Jesus and Peter.

"Do you love me?"

Jesus asked Peter that question not once, not twice, but three times.

It is my belief that there are no such things as coincidences.

After Peter affirms his love and devotion to Christ, Jesus tells him to feed and care for His sheep. And he assures him that he will be guided and cared for as he guides and cares for God's people. Jesus let's Peter know he is loved as well, even after a pretty major mistake.

We don't see Jesus lash out and harshly condemn Peter. He isn't frustrated, offended, or filled with too hot of a temper. We do not see Christ filled with pride and disgust. He doesn't throw a slur or lash out with his opinion of Peter's behavior. He doesn't log onto the hottest of social media sites and rant about how stupid and wrong Peter was.

Jesus cooks him dinner and has a loving conversation, restoring the relationship without questioning motive, intent, or the reason for a mistake.

We need to realize others around us have bad days. People in our lives will mess up in small ways, and they will make the biggest of mistakes. Cashiers will give back incorrect change. Fast food orders will be wrong. Kids will spill drinks and act like kids. We will see people loose their cool and say the wrong things. People we love will cheat and lie. Folks we know will make mistakes. We will make mistakes.

Another's shortcomings do not give us permission to condemn them or excuse our own bad behavior.

So I am challenging myself and all of you. Let's speak only kind words when we run across the simple everyday mistakes. Post and tweet only the optimistic. Like the good statuses, pray for the not so good. Don't be so easily offended. Let's keep our opinions to ourselves if they can't be delivered with love. And be respectful of others' opinions. Be patient with the people who need it the most. Don't give up on the people you love when they mess up. Love on them a little harder. Find the good God intends us to find in the most difficult of situations.

We are all human and we are in need of grace. The kind of grace Jesus showed Peter. The kind of grace Jesus extends to each of us, day in and day out. And humanity is the only chance we have at seeing that grace in action each and every day.                                                                                  

In Less Than Four Years

What a busy but blessed season this is! It seems as though our feet are hitting the ground just as fast as our heads are hitting the pillow each night. The door to the house has become a revolving one.  It brings in old and new friends and sweet family members on an hourly basis it seems. It warms my heart and fills our home with love.

We have survived TCAP week, seen the end of another school year, and enjoyed a trip to Disney World. Jackson and Nancy Caroline have played a lot of baseball and softball, while Sadie continues to work hard at gymnastics. They have a slew of summer camps between the three of them. Michael and I have helped with the planning of WeCareCannon, started the ball rolling for Saba Summer Missions, and most importantly are working happily at being mom and dad.

Our family also saw Michel and Myron finish a school year at Lipscomb and head home for the summer. Wait...some of you still ask the question as to who these two fellas are. So, in a nut shell, they are our honorary "sons" from Saba.

Michel, the younger of the two, successfully finished his freshman year. He seems to have settled in well and even joined us on a mission trip back to his home island in March. I am very proud of him.

Myron graduated from Lipscomb with a degree in Enterprenership. He has worked so very hard and before he headed home to Saba for the summer he turned 21 and took the GMAT. We anxiously await the results and pray fervently for his success.

Those two words...Myron graduated...

In less than four years, one can get a degree from a very reputable Southern Christian university. In less than four years, a very young high school student can become a more than confident college graduate. In that short amount of time a young man can be on the brink of the business world.

In less than four years, an international student can make his way to a big U.S. City and lean upon the help of some senior college students to help him figure things out and begin to find his way. He can become roommates with a couple of "small town country boys". In the midst of dorm life with them he can find that small towns aren't that different from small islands.  These roommates can also become the best of friends.

In less than four years, a young man can learn a new culture. He opens his mind and can see good things. But he can also identify the bad, and he can learn from both. The young man can learn the lingo of the people he has been emerged into. He can adapt to the differences, but he can stay very true to his roots and where he comes from. He can respectfully love both "homes" and realizes that the knowledge and love of both are a true gift from God.

In less than four years, a thirty something mother of three can learn how to grocery shop for a host of the males species. She can take ground beef and learn every recipe under the sun to make it as diverse as possible. She can learn to change bed sheets in the blink of an eye. That mom can learn to hold her breath a total of 36 seconds. That's how long it takes her to empty the clothes basket of 3 boys sweaty ball clothes into the washing machine.

That same mom can learn to appreciate the game of basketball in less than four years. She can learn the names of Los Angeles Laker players. She can get use to having a Florida Gator football fan in her house. In less than four years, the ESPN sports center chime can become one of her favorite sounds.

But more importantly, in less than four years a mom can learn her arms can hold the tiniest of babies, but they feel just as nice wrapped around her 20 year old "son" in a hug of encouragement.

In less than four years, a man can be faced with a bit of a dilemma. "Am I a dad? Am I a brother? Am I a mentor?"  Finally that man can figure out that he is a bit of all three, and he can be very content with that realization. He can go on adventures, give advice, be a friend, and gently guide.

In less than four years, a big brother can become a little brother.  Two little sisters can find themselves not in the majority any longer. Children are resilient and have the innocently big hearts that so many of us need to revert back to. So these siblings very easily open their exclusive club for another, and then another. In less than four years, they can gain two big brothers.

In less than four years, a family of five can very quickly become a family of six and then seven.  That family can see the best out of each other, but can love each other through the worst. They can have expectations, but they learn to not make demands. They cheer each other on, they celebrate birthdays, and give each other encouragement. They laugh on road trips, play games around the kitchen table, and enjoy frequent trips to the Chinese buffet. The family worships together, invites the neighbors to play Sunday afternoon kickball, and learns the quickest route between Woodbury and Lipscomb.

In less than four years, one's heart can become happier...fuller...bigger.

In less than four years, I have learned so much from watching a 17 year old, 6'4", basketball loving, Caribbean boy become a 21 year old, broad shouldered, highly educated,  professional young man.  I have watched him love God, love on others, and love on us.

When Myron came I had no idea what we were saying "yes" to as he came to house on weekends.  What I have learned the most during these four years is this...

If you live your life open to God's story continuing to be written in you, you most certainly will impact others, you will change people, you will disciple. You also will step outside your comfort zone, you will be confused at times, and you will be pushed to some limits.

But what you do not realize is that the greatest change you see will be how God changes you.  He will open your mind.  He will cause you to see that things are not about comfort and staying in the "bubble" of the small town American lifestyle. God will cause you to see that everything He has given you...your house, your car, your family, your talents...are not to be hoarded up for yourself and your inner circle. They are the tools He will use to grow the Kingdom through your walk with Him.

Open the doors of you home. Don't be afraid of your dirty laundry being aired out. Welcome in folks. Feed them. Set at the table with them. Talk with them. Let them see the life you live. Watch how they live. Learn from them and let them learn from you.

"Always be eager to practice hospitality..." Romans 12:13

I can still remember the first weekend Myron came "home" from Lipscomb. I worked so hard with my Martha mentality to ready the house. Our friend Shelton dropped him off. I remember the anxiety I felt wondering if he'd like our home life and what he expected out of this crazy Tennessee family of five.  Could he take all the chaos and the noise? Would he be happy with what I cooked? He was about to see the "real" us, not the "10 day to two week mission trip us". Would he be disappointed?

Now I find myself holding all the answers to those questions. He loves us and our home...the good, the bad, and the ugly. He became one of us and we became one of him. The joy this brings me is unmatched.

So I sit now and miss his presence. Summer months are a bit too long. I already long to hear Myron and Michel banter back and forth as brothers do. I miss seeing him sit at his"office". I miss the sound of socca music bellowing from upstairs. I miss the sound of his chuckles from a random commercial or you tube video.  Normal Thomas family life includes Myron and Michel's presence...the anxiety now is in the waiting of their return.

God is good...all we have to do is open our doors...and our hearts.  You never can imagine what He will do. I mean, just look at what He did in less than four years.

A Shout Out to Teachers

This week has been a bit focused on the teaching profession. Someone along the way decided that we need a week devoted to "Teacher Appreciation". So each May since my oldest started school, I try to make sure I "appreciate" the ladies and gentlemen that I entrust to educate and academically guide my three kiddos.

Back in my elementary school years, there wasn't a week dedicated to this outward showing of appreciation. But nevertheless my mom had her gestures of thanks to my teachers. The most visual of these gestures was the Christmas red velvet cake.  For the teachers that were lucky enough...smile...to have both me and my sister, their holidays were filled with anticipation as the last day before winter break approached.  My mom's red velvet cakes were and still are pretty famous in Carthage.

I know my parents went above and beyond to make sure our teachers knew they were appreciated and valued.  But I think it took me becoming a teacher myself, and even more so a parent of a student, to realize how special educators are.

See if I am honest, I can tell you that there are still many things that arise during any given week that bring to mind many specific things I heard my former teachers say, do, and teach.

Just a few weeks back I accompanied Sadie's first grade class to a natural history museum. Investigating the T-Rex skeleton with my first grader, took me back to the melody that filled Mrs. Carver's classroom.

"Tyrannosaurus Rex was a very mean king, and if it wasn't for him we'd have a happy ending."

When I eat a fried cherry pie I remember the fun and laughter had in Mrs. Hutchins second grade class. She made learning fun and made this kindergarten and first grade cry baby fall in love with school.

The acronym V.I.P. always brings to mind Mrs. Owens. She had a way of making each one of us feel loved. And it didn't hurt that we played kick ball a lot!

If we give a birthday or Christmas gift to a fourth grader, it's always one of two books...Anne of Green Gables or Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing.  My fourth grade teacher, Mrs. Harper, read to us each day after lunch. These were my favorite two books. Her after lunch reading time was my favorite part of the day.

When my two oldest come home with new knowledge of American history, I can still hear Mrs. Davis talk about the Civil War. And when they have a writing assignment, I feel prepared to help them due to the teaching of ladies like Mrs. Rich.

I am thankful that each time I read from the book of Proverbs, I can still hear the sweet voice of Mrs. Kathy Kemp and see her standing at her podium in Junior English class. And I am thankful that when I find myself in step to the background music of life, I have fond memories of Mr. Dowell. When I prepare a meal and take care of my home, I still relate back to the good teaching of Mrs. Lee.

As I have studied my profession throughout the years, I have found myself smiling with the realization, that yes, science does have something to do with my career and life.  Ms. Honey was right all along.

And then there are those teachers that I have carried with me almost daily during certain seasons in life.  You know the ones you want to make proud and pattern your life after. When I was in a classroom teaching I found myself teaching like Mrs. Connie Massey and immitating my ways after hers.  When I explained things to my students, and continue to explain things to my kids at home, I go back to her advice and expertise.

And when I think about how I wanted my classroom to feel, how I wanted to be the teacher but also the friend, how I have wanted to carry myself in and out of the classroom, I had and have the memories of Mrs. Fulton and the comfort of her classroom. I think of how the words of encouragement, and even at times frankness, fell from her mouth with grace and love.

These teachers, and the many more that I haven't mentioned but also learned so very much from, made me who I am.  They changed my life.  They have helped me be a good student, a prepared college graduate, a fellow teacher, a wife and mother, and a better person from their instruction, example, and leadership.

Today I smile with that realization, and I am blessed to be able to identify that now in order to witness the miraculous work that is going on in my own school age children.

It amazes me to see how Mrs. Holly and Ms. Taylor have helped Sadie become a fluent reader.  They enjoy and love her personality almost as much as I do and that means more than anything to this mom!

The encouragement and confidence Nancy Caroline has gained from women like Ms. Alysia, Ms. Loftis, and Ms. Mathis can not be matched. She will be a strong leader and secure in her decisions thanks to their guidance.

Jackson has been loved so well by ladies like Mrs. Jessica, Mrs. Smith, and Mrs. Gannon. The patience they have shown with his speech beautifully assisted his therapists with his development and growth.

He will always know learning is important and fun thanks to teachers like Dr. Odom and Mr. Parker. And I am thankful he has men like Mr. Smith to look up to and model his life after.

Principals and educators like Mrs. Bonnie Patterson and Ms. Sebrena Wade will forever be friends and champions of my children. Relational living is a huge part of teaching!

Our three have learned so much from ALL of their teachers, therapists, and tutors, even though I do not call them all by name here.  Our community of educators in our family's life is counted a huge blessing!

The role that teachers play in our lives is taken for granted in many cases. The good teachers, the great ones are under appreciated, under valued, and under paid.  I know first hand how much imagination, creativity, patience, and time most teachers give.  They devote their lives to finding wonderful ways to fill children with the knowledge and abilities to make the world a better place filled with better people.

This devotion doesn't only happen from 7am to 3pm, Monday through Friday, during the months of August through May.  It takes place in Summer workshops and furthering education seminars.  It happens at after school staff meetings and collaboration sessions with fellow teachers. The commitment is spent playing with kids at recess and giving tutoring sessions. The devotion can be seen at their kitchen tables and in their living room floors during the wee hours of the morning as they write lesson plans and grade papers.  It occurs when they take on the added responsibility of coaching a team, leading a cheer squad, sponsoring a club, or overseeing an after school activity, even on the weekends.

When you are a teacher, you never leave your "job".  A teacher takes home the burdens of the child that is malnourished or mistreated. She will wake up at night wondering if some of her students are happy and safe.  He will find ways to make sure his students feel loved outside of the school walls.  Teachers will attend recitals, ballgames, and eventually graduations. Good teachers go to bat for their students when they are being dealt something that is unfair. She ends up being the supervising teacher of the student teacher that formerly could be found on her class roll. Some become wedding guests and friends on Facebook. Former teachers celebrate babies being born and console when life is a bit tough.

Teachers, these things, all these things, this outstanding, hard, and tedious job you do with such love and enthusiasm...it is appreciated and respected and admired.

Thank you to the teachers who have, have had, and continue to care for, educate, and guide my children. You have answered a calling that is esteemed and appreciated by so many, including this mother of three. I entrust you with my greatest blessings, and on occasion if I get a bit bent out of shape or overbearing, I apologize. I pray for you and the school in which you work every morning and every night. I ask that you pray for me as I mother.  And I promise to make sure that the Thomas kids realize and acknowledge what you have done, are doing, and will continue to do for them. In our words..."You rock!"

All the red velvet cake in the world couldn't be enough to show all of my former school teachers how much I continue to appreciate them today. Thank you for the education and guidance you provided.  Not only about math, science, language arts, and everything in between found in the text books...but about living life and succeeding. Thank you for not being perfect teachers, but teachers that taught even imperfection can bring about greatness.

A Letter to Jackson

So as most of you know, this blog is made up of my ramblings as an island-loving, mother of three beautiful and amazing kiddos. Lately, watching the three kids grow and experience some tough life lessons, has been not so easy. This is especially the case at the ages of Jackson and NC at the moment. So I took to writing them letters...letters that I am actually sharing with them, and they have agreed for me to share on this blog.

I know some of you moms are experiencing the same issues and feelings, so I thought it might help to hear another mom's take on how she is encouraging and equipping her children. By no means do I have it all figured out. But it takes a village, and I love hearing from others on how they parent, love, and lead.  Here is some advice I have for my son. And of course in the days to come, two more letters, addressed to my girls, are sure to follow.

I would love to hear the advice and words you share with your children.

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Dear Jackson,

I absolutely adore watching you grow. With every inch you grow taller, the more handsome I think you are.  When you spout out new knowledge your mind has taken in, I realize how intelligent you are becoming.

You had your back to me, walking down the hall at school the other day. You had been chosen to complete an important task for some of the teachers. At first I didn't realize it was you. I caught myself wondering, "Who is that tall, strong, good looking young man? These teachers must think he is pretty responsible."

Then I realized it was you...my little boy who isn't that little anymore.

When I held you almost twelve years ago for the first time, I was so overjoyed. For nine months, I didn't know if you were a boy or a girl. I spent almost every day driving back and forth to work; an hour both ways. One hundred twenty minutes talking to you, singing to you, and taking in every kick, hiccup, and wiggle.

I dreamed of the person you would become and what we would do together.  I had hopes of ice cream dates, laying on our backs in the back yard, and riding bikes. I prayed you would come to love and know God.

May 31, 2004. It was time to meet you. A very loud and boisterous nurse bellowed through the operating room...

"It's a boy, I see his parts!"

And before I knew it, the nurse had your little nose almost touching mine. You were screaming with life and that red hair looked like a flame on top of your little head.  I had finally met the one with who I had talked with and sang to for months.  The hiccups, wiggles, and kicks, they had a face now.  And I was in love, deeply, like nothing I had ever known.

That love continues to grow stronger and deeper. It amazes me. How can a love like this exist?! It's hard to believe, even though I am experiencing it.

When I hear you tell a joke, I think it's the funniest joke I have ever heard.  When I see you make a tackle on the football field, I just know you are the best player to ever put on a uniform. When you throw a pitch and I hear the ump yell "Strike!", I am certain you will make the big leagues.  When you bring home straight As on a report card, I know you are genius.

But I want you to know something...

You are more than a comedian. You are more than a football player. You are more than a baseball pitcher.  You are more than a good student.  You are more.

Jackson, I never could have imagined all the qualities God was going to place so perfectly in your personality.  The things that make you, you...those things can't be taught to someone. The way you care for others, it comes natural to you. The words of encouragement to fellow team mates, those are effortless for you, they just fall off your tongue without hesitation. You love people so well.  It makes it impossible for others not to love you. Your courage to stand up for what is right, no matter what, is a task that you make look easy, and so many of us admire that.

Your determination is inspiring.  Your little voice has struggled with the "hiccup" of being disfluent since you were three years old.  There have been the brief moments that you have expressed your frustration to me about  it, but it's been rare.  You never shy away from speaking to larger crowds, praying in public, taking the lead in class discussions, reading scripture in worship settings, or telling a funny story to a group of adults. You don't only not shy away from it, you enthusiastically volunteer for it. There have been a few times that I have witnessed you struggle to get your words out and your point across. But you never, ever quit or give up. I admire this about you so much, and as your mother, I am thankful for your attitude when you meet adversity.

You are growing up in a society that has the definition of a "real man" all screwed up. Jackson, there are things that you will see that don't need to be seen. There will be things your friends will say and you will hear that do not need to be said or heard. Jokes will be told that shouldn't be, and then laughter will be had that doesn't glorify God and may be at the sake of someone else's happiness.

You will be tempted. You will be tested. You will struggle.

I pray for your eyes. And I pray for the images that may be left in your mind. I pray for your ears, and the echoes that may ring in your ears for years to come. I pray that you will have a strong will not to laugh when everyone else does. I pray for the temptations that will find their way to you. I pray for the trials and tests you will endure. I pray for your struggles.

A "real man" isn't found in looking at inappropriate things and crossing lines. A "real man" isn't found in unattractive "grown up" words and dirty jokes and slandering of others.

First and foremost, a real man loves God. It is more courageous to love someone you can not see or touch, to have a Faith that isn't built on sight but on a knowledge and a greater Hope than of things on this earth.  As Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes , everything here on earth is meaningless, every bit of it. At the end of this book, he writes this...

"That's the whole story. Here now is my final conclusion: Fear God and obey His commands, for this is the sole responsibility of every man."

This came from the wisest, richest man of His time. And even though God granted his request of discernment and made him great, his wisdom and knowledge could never be complete. Solomon never knew Christ. Jesus brings complete wisdom and knowledge...go read Colossians 2:2-3.

A real man knows Jesus Christ, who provides perfect wisdom and knowledge. I am thankful you know Christ and that He is your Savior.

A real man, a gentleman, is respectful. He is respectful to others...his parents, his siblings, his elders, his friends, and even to strangers, and even still to his enemies. A real man loves others and puts them above himself. He loves them with his words, his actions, and his intentions. He loves them to their faces, and he loves them behind their backs.

He respects and loves the people he knows now and the people he will know in the future. Jackson, I am talking about...be still my heart...your future wife and your future children. That's a long way off, a LONG way off, but I promise the things you do now, and in the years through high school and college, will affect your relationship with them. Don't just think about the present, the current moment, but think and pray on your future. I already pray about this and will continue to do so.

Respect and love yourself. This is a huge quality for a gentleman. Never allow anyone to treat you badly or belittle you. You are amazing!  In the first chapter of James, we are told that out of all creation, we are God's prized possession.  Take care of yourself. Don't ever think some man made drug or chemical can make you feel better. Don't clutter your brain with useless, harmful things. Love yourself enough to fill your body with things that are good and pure, mentally and physically.

A real man is determined, hard working, and encouraging.  He sets goals and works hard to achieve them.  I don't care if you decide to be a doctor like your dad, a teacher like me, a big time lawyer or engineer, a cook or a chef, a policeman, or anything in between or beyond. I will love you and love what you do no matter what.  All I ask is this...Once you decide, go at it with all you have and never stop learning how to make yourself better at your job and at life.

So simply put...

Love God.
Love Others.
Love Yourself.

And know this...you will mess up. And that is ok. You are not perfect. You are not suppose to be. And just so you know, I am not perfect either. When you mess up, it's going to hurt. It will hurt you, and in most cases, it's going to hurt others that you love very much. But there are two things you are assured of during these "mess ups"...

1. God loves you and nothing can change that love He has for you. He extends forgiveness. It's your job to accept it. He keeps no record of wrong.

2. I am not going any where. I love you no matter what, but will speak truth to you and hold you accountable to the things that you know are true and good. My love for you is unconditional.

I love to read the story of Jesus and these days my mind focuses a lot on Mary, his mother. Two different times, we are given a beautiful glimpse of her inner being as a mother. Very simply put, scripture tells us..."And Mary stored up and pondered these things in her heart."

Jackson, I can relate to this. Since that day that our noses touched for the very first time, I have stored things up in my heart and my mind replays them over and over.

Your first steps. Your first words. Playing at the park with you. Riding in the back of your little green gator around the back yard. Your first home run. The first time you brought me flowers. The way you would say, "I loves you too, Momma." Your first day of school. Laughing with you on the beach on Dauphin Island. Hiking Mt. Scenery on Saba with you. Your baptism.

Each moment is stored up. I think on them and they bring me more joy than you will ever know. I will continue to store things up and I love watching you grow, change, and live life. Not only because you are mine, but because you live life beautifully. I am more than blessed to know you and that God allows you to call me "Mom".

I love you,
Mom

Four Little Words

I love you.

Three little words that mean so much to so many.

However, to some, these words don't mean much.

Growing up, I heard them often.  These three words fell very easily from the lips of my parents.  As they dropped me off at school, read fairy tales and bible stories to me, and as they tucked the blankets tight around me just before I drifted off to sleep, these words were repeated. 

I love you.

As I grew, I noticed other words they added to this phrase to make sure I got the picture. 

Very much.

So much.

I will always...

Nothing can change that.

...and I am so proud of you.

And I can honestly say that these words were accompanied by actions.  They provided. The two of them spent time with me. My mother took me shopping. My dad let me help him on the farm. They sat at summer softball games, help me pack my bags for church camp, cheered me on at band competitions, and supported me when I ran for various leadership positions. 

I continue to hear and feel these words today. Though the voices that continue to speak them now sound a bit older, I still feel like the little girl who found unbelievable comfort and joy each time the words and actions let me know that I was sincerely and deeply loved. My mom and dad continue to sincerely and deeply love me.

But perhaps, there has been a little saying that has come to mean even a bit more to me over the years from these two.  The phrase is one that they only use between the two of them. I have heard them verbally speak the words to the other. I have seen it written in birthday cards and on notes attached to Christmas packages they exchange. I have seen it grace the card my dad puts in my mom's Valentine roses. I have found it written between them on bathroom mirrors and on napkins and on scraps of paper.

I just love you.

Ok, so I first I didn't get it.  I would think...

"Really? You JUST love her/him? That sounds so simple and flippant! Scream it from the rooftops, daddy. Jump up and down, mom. Get with it, you more than JUST love each other!"

But in the last few years, it's all beginning to make sense to me.  Since hearing and seeing them exchange it this past holiday season, it has stuck with me.  It's been swirling around in my mind.

It is that simple. There are no strings attached. My mom doesn't have to cook the dinner every night to be loved.  My dad can get a little touchy and say the wrong thing and still be loved. They can have different opinions and still sit down on the couch and love the person with who they share their popcorn. They can make mistakes. They can be imperfect. They are still just loved. 

Love should not be dependent on a set of given actions.  For that matter love should not be dependent on any action at all.  We should love because that is just what we are called to do. 

Jesus didn't love the woman at the well because she had a pristine past and gave him a drink of water.  He didn't love Peter because he was cool and even tempered.  Jesus didn't love the poor and sick because he felt sorry for them. He didn't love Zacchaeus because he was tall and good looking. Jesus didn't love Mary because she sat at his feet, and he didn't love Martha because she kept her house clean and baked a casserole. He didn't love Caiaphas because he was loved in return. 

He just loved them. That is what he was sent to do.

"Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends."

John 15:13

And that is what we are called to do.  We are to just love others. 

Not because they are awesome at loving us back. Not because they cook our meals, buy us cool clothes, and invite us into their homes. Not because they follow the same path in life that we follow. Not because they agree with us and belong to a certain group. Not because they are our family members, friends, or spouses. 

We are to love them, JUST because.

"But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back."  Luke 6:35

In our churches we have to stop insisting that folks start looking like us, thinking exactly like us, and acting like us before we let them through our doors, on our pews, and in our circles. We must love them exactly where they are at.  And we must continue to just love them, no matter the outcome.  

"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins." 

I Peter 4:8

I heard something along these lines from a speaker the other day..."A faith based and built on love will never win others over through actions of dislike and hate."

Love shouldn't have limitations and expectations. It should be filled with grace and mercy. 

"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God."

I John 4:7

I have been asking God a lot lately to help me see things more clearly.  I sat down on the carpet in my living room the other day and pretty much pleaded to be given some answers, and make it fast. I need a solution. A way to fill the holes the world seems to leave in me as I pillow my head at night. My heart doesn't need to be so lonely. 

That's when my mind takes me back to Christmas, watching my parents open presents and read cards. I see the two of them smile and look at each other. I hear my dad's voice, full of genuine care, joy, and companionship...

I just love you.

That is my Heavenly Father. No doubt. He put that memory in my mind and these things on my heart this week in order for me to hear Him loud and clear.

I am just loved.

Live Life On Purpose

So it's been a long while. Duly noted. Now...

This past week was a tough one. I was grumpy, easily irritated, and uncomfortable in my own skin. My words were sharp, my emotions were worn on my face, and my actions were dulled and lacked any resemblance of joy.

The people in my home were the ones that caught the brunt of it. I was silent on drives to ballgames and practices. My voice got a little too loud at times. The little patience I did have was very thin.

As I began to realize I needed an attitude check, I started to try to figure out why I was in such a dark place. At first it was hard to put a finger on it. Maybe it was the kids schedule. Three ball teams between them, gymnastics, tutoring sessions, cheer tryouts, guitar lessons...my mind couldn't keep up with our calendar.  Maybe it was the stash of dirty laundry that was beginning to resemble Mt. Everest in my laundry room.  Maybe it was the actions of other people I could blame it on. The root canal didn't help much on Thursday. I didn't have time for that!

After sitting in the funk for a bit, trying to make sense of it all, I began to feel so very much alone. Nobody understood. When I spoke, I was rambling. And the folks I did talk to about things, couldn't make sense of it either it didn't seem. So I started to realize, I was in this dark place all by myself.

Wrong, so very wrong...

Satan was there. He had manipulated every situation, every thought, every word. He had twisted my thoughts with doubt, loneliness, and sadness. He planted the seeds of failure, chaos, and selfishness.  He pushed every button at exactly the perfect time. There isn't an ounce of good in him, but as a good friend pointed out to me this week, he is very good at his job.

So he had me convinced, I was in my dark and lonely place and I had to go it alone.

On Sunday morning, I woke up early.  I made that cup of coffee that I am dependent upon and began to wake up the three kids. One by one, I kissed their heads, rolled them out of bed, and picked out their "Sundy-go-to-meeting" clothes.  The girls and I, along with my oldest "son", Myron, loaded up and headed to worship in Murfreesboro. Sadie had a gymnastics meet just after church making things a bit different from every other Sunday.

We filed into our seats and began to take in the worship. As we sat down for the message, I was eager to hear what this minister, who I had heard rave reviews of, had to say.  His first few statements had me hooked...

"Being a Christian is being in a relationship. A relationship with God, growing in an intimacy and understanding of Jesus.  Therefore growing in deeper relationships with others. We are to be intentional with our church family, our friends, our children, our spouses, and those we come in contact with. We should live life on purpose."

I am a Christian.

Therefore I am in a relationship.

A relationship means I am not alone.

My relationship with Christ should reflect in every other relationship God has blessed me with.

Live life on purpose.

We left that worship setting, we grabbed lunch, and cheered Sadie on in her meet.  And I felt a little more alive, not so dark.

After Sadie snagged first place in the overall events...proud mom!...I rushed home to prepare dinner and ready our house for twenty five of my favorite people. It was Saba Spring Break reunion. I was ready to see these people, hug their necks, and properly thank them for their love and service...but a lot had to be done! Tacos to make, dishes to wash, a house to tidy up, the list went on.

To my surprise, I walked into a house taken over by my friends, the Sprys...Jill Momma, Lana, and Carly.  The smell of cookies filled the air, the dishwasher had been emptied, my favorite wall flowers were plugged in to take away the stench of ball equipment and dirty laundry. I was met with, "What needs to be done next?". They chopped peppers, trimmed flowers for the table, cleaned counters. These three ladies loved me through service, spending time with me, working along side me, sharing in conversation, and making me laugh.  Then our friends Rachel and Jeffery showed up, frying corn tortillas and adding even more joy and laughter into a house that had been much quieter in the previous few days.

One by one the team members arrived, each with a huge hug and a beautiful smile. As the back door opened cheers erupted as friends were reunited.  It was loud. It was joy. It was contagious.  We ate together, we caught up on life, and did I mention we laughed...a lot!

We are a group of Christians.

We are in a relationship.

We are not alone.

Our individual relationships with Christ are truly reflected in how we are living our relationships with each other.

We are living life together, on purpose.

As we huddled in the Thomas family living room, I took my turn at thanking each of them for serving Saba and loving so well.  We honored our student leaders, Steven and John.  I reminded them they are all always welcome in our home, just not only in our house.

Then Michael talked. He thanked them. He thanked them for telling their stories on Saba, and then he told a bit of his own. He gave some advice from his experiences. I know how much of him this took and I was moved.

As he started to pray, one of the fellas on the team, Jacob, stopped him. He began to say his own thanksgiving in a way that I will never forget.  He had written each of us a note of thanks.  Twenty eight notes! He told us that if any one of us had not been on this team or a part of this trip, his life would not be the same. He had learned something from each individual and he was forever changed. God created us for community. And we were not alone.

As he spoke these words, my heart felt so full and my eyes began to fill with tears. God is so good. I needed these words. I needed these people. My dark and lonely place satan had orchestrated in the most simple but cunning ways had been destroyed. It had been destroyed through the message a minister shared. It was destroyed by laughter and happiness shared while cooking a meal and cleaning a house with friends. It was destroyed by the loud chatter, contagious joy, and Jesus filled banter between 29 folks that hadn't all been together since March 20.  It had been destroyed by the sweet and kind and thoughtful  words of a fellow mission team member.

It was destroyed because of Jesus, who lived life on purpose.  That's my "I will" today...I will live life on purpose.

What is this going to look like? What does this mean?

It means every action will be drenched with intention. I will listen to my friend to do just that...to listen and not be distracted by the craziness in my head of where I have to be and what I have to be doing.  It means I will get up early and fight the urge to hit the snooze button in order to talk to my Father and listen to Him as I read His word. I will go eat a school lunch with my kids, or with someone else's kid that needs the extra attention. I will show grace to the cashier that messes up my change or the slow driver that won't get in the right lane. When a family member or friend or stranger needs help, I will go. It means I will seek out those who need me, and those that I need. I will pour myself into them with every given opportunity. I will slow down. I will be present. I will love like Jesus loves.

That's what it means to me. Living life on purpose. What does it mean to you?