Where Is The Grace?

I pulled up Facebook a few weeks back. Killing some time as I sat alone on a bench waiting for eleven other people to come out of a bathroom at Disney World. Do you know how many bathroom breaks a party of 12 has to take while vacationing at The Happiest Place on Earth?! Some people have the bladder of a flea...but I love them completely, tiny bladder and all. And I digress...

So there I was scrolling down the news feed, and a post caught my eye. A friend was irritated and put out.

We have all been there. Hungry. In a hurry. In need of fast food. And fast is the last thing the food is, not to mention it isn't even what was ordered. And then round two fails at order promptness and correctness.

You huff and puff a bit but you don't yell. You do not throw insults at the cashier. But what do you do when your feathers get ruffled...you take to Facebook and you rant.

Where is the grace?

A few years back when my 12 year old was ten years less, we were visiting friends in Mexico. Jackson was introduced to Jamaica, a kool aid type drink made from the Hibiscus flower. To say he loved it is an understatement.

As we sat with friends at one of our favorite local taco joints, Jackson sipped away on the deep dark red juice. And before we knew it, most of us were suddenly covered and stained from the toddlers drink of choice.

I jumped up, panicking, frustrated, embarrassed.

Where is the patience?

On Wednesday afternoons during the school year, I help out at an after school program with the church family of which I am a part. We snack, we play, we serve, and we learn. Anywhere between 50 to 75 kids are in attendance on a given day.

Most days are good, and the kids are happy.  But they are kids. They have arguments, they act out, and they throw slurs.

"That's stupid."

"I am not your friend anymore!"

"You are an idiot!"

Where did they learn this stuff from?

The access to information on this earth now is unprecedented. In order to know something we want to know all we have to do is Google it, get on Facebook, or check the latest tweet. The days of just watching the local news are a thing of the past.

You know what your neighbor is eating for dinner, not to mention the latest social news that everyone is talking about. In a year's span we talk about politics, issues concerning gender, mission work and religion, how others parent, and how we treat animals.

Alot of us become obsessed and lash out at all others that have differing opinions than we do.  We are quick to point out how others mess up and how they could do better.

Where is the humility?

You may be wondering where I am going with all this. My heart is heavy. I look at us and the world in which we live and can see that we are screwing a lot of things up. We have opportunities everyday to make the world better. We squander these moments due to short tempers, busy schedules, and the absence of grace.

Instead of seeing the good in people, we size them up and place judgement in their actions, words, and intentions.

We see the mom loose it in the grocery aisle and immediately think she is a horrible mother. The cashier messes up the amount of change he gives us back. We snap at him and are appalled he can't even do simple math.  Our kid's teacher forgets to send home the school newsletter. Oh my goodness, we aren't going to know what is for lunch or what is going on this week in class! Can't she get her act together?!  A child at church is out of control and has bad manners. This child gets on our nerves. The simple answer in our minds is a good spanking or scolding.

We don't always only have these attitudes toward strangers.  It seeps into our homes and our friendships and in the mirror.  Dads are hard on sons, wanting them to act like "men" well before the times are passed when they just need to be a little boys.  Us wives sit around in our circles and complain about our husbands shortcomings. We beat ourselves up when we forget something, double book our calendars, or can't be like the other lady down the street who "has it all together".

We live in a world filled with judgment, negativity, and assumptions. We are hard on each other. We are hard on ourselves. Harshness is dealt on a daily basis, in reality, for the simplest of mistakes.

I love to read the stories in the Bible and see all the things that our Jesus did. But we can learn a lot from what he didn't do.

In all four gospels, we read of Peter. He makes me smile a lot. He is full of less than holy humanity much of the time, but God turned his imperfections into the most beautiful story.

Probably the most noted story we read of Peter deals with him denying Christ. We have just read of his friendship and love declaration to Jesus at the Last Supper. And then we see him not once, not twice, but three times deny that he even knew his fearless leader and friend. He weeps and then he disappears from scripture for a bit.

In John 21, we see Peter and Jesus reunited. At first Peter can't even tell it's Christ on the shore, but when he does, his reaction is beautiful. Peter is too excited to row the boat to shore. He jumps out of his fishing boat and swims to where Jesus is. Can you imagine his joy? His best friend and Savior is alive! But I also bet he had a bit of fear.

"Is he going to still love me after I disowned him?"

In the true nature of himself, Jesus then serves his friends...he cooks dinner for them. They eat together. Then scripture lets us see a conversation between Jesus and Peter.

"Do you love me?"

Jesus asked Peter that question not once, not twice, but three times.

It is my belief that there are no such things as coincidences.

After Peter affirms his love and devotion to Christ, Jesus tells him to feed and care for His sheep. And he assures him that he will be guided and cared for as he guides and cares for God's people. Jesus let's Peter know he is loved as well, even after a pretty major mistake.

We don't see Jesus lash out and harshly condemn Peter. He isn't frustrated, offended, or filled with too hot of a temper. We do not see Christ filled with pride and disgust. He doesn't throw a slur or lash out with his opinion of Peter's behavior. He doesn't log onto the hottest of social media sites and rant about how stupid and wrong Peter was.

Jesus cooks him dinner and has a loving conversation, restoring the relationship without questioning motive, intent, or the reason for a mistake.

We need to realize others around us have bad days. People in our lives will mess up in small ways, and they will make the biggest of mistakes. Cashiers will give back incorrect change. Fast food orders will be wrong. Kids will spill drinks and act like kids. We will see people loose their cool and say the wrong things. People we love will cheat and lie. Folks we know will make mistakes. We will make mistakes.

Another's shortcomings do not give us permission to condemn them or excuse our own bad behavior.

So I am challenging myself and all of you. Let's speak only kind words when we run across the simple everyday mistakes. Post and tweet only the optimistic. Like the good statuses, pray for the not so good. Don't be so easily offended. Let's keep our opinions to ourselves if they can't be delivered with love. And be respectful of others' opinions. Be patient with the people who need it the most. Don't give up on the people you love when they mess up. Love on them a little harder. Find the good God intends us to find in the most difficult of situations.

We are all human and we are in need of grace. The kind of grace Jesus showed Peter. The kind of grace Jesus extends to each of us, day in and day out. And humanity is the only chance we have at seeing that grace in action each and every day.