As I share this, I also have a challenge for us all. This hurting each other with our words thing, yeah, it isn't getting much better. In fact, I'd say it is getting worse. It's in our families, among our friends, in our media, and even in our church families. We need to think before we speak. What we say about and to each other, to our faces or behind our backs, can hurt the strongest of people. Let's do better.
This one is for my "Fancy Nancy"...
***
Today someone called you "bossy". It made me very angry.
But I composed myself and responded with what I hope was seen as love. Love for the ones that threw out that term so flippantly...but even more love for you.
I know that the term "bossy" and a few others that have been thrown your way really hurt you. My dear one, you put on a brave and strong front, but I am your mother and your friend. I can see the long, far off look in your eyes in the moments after you have heard the words. I believe whole heartedly that words are the most dangerous and most used weapon in our world.
Sometimes these words have come from your peers. Sometimes these words have come from adults. Your peers are learning, and I hope they learn better than these adults that use the same words. Some people need to open their eyes, think outside the box, and be a bit a lot less critical. Praise should be heard at a scream and criticism should be whispered. Usually folks do it the other way around.
Sweet girl, I know you and God did not make you "bossy".
You came into the world very quietly. The seconds seemed to have gone on for hours as we waited to hear your first cries. I pleaded with you as the nurses cleaned you and prepared to lay you on my chest...
"Cry, baby, cry."
And finally you did. And it was the sweetest sound I had ever heard.
From that moment on, I have always been amazed at your abilities and the things God innately blessed you with.
God made you capable. Capable of thinking through situations and being able to weigh the options. You have been blessed with the ability to organize and evaluate situations with very little thought. You are confident and decisive.
He has also made you strong. Your strength sees you through the emotionally tough days and allows you overcome negative criticism and the nasty behavior of others. Your God-given strength also allows you to do the things that for brief moments you think you can't do. I know this because I have witnessed you overcome fear and be brave. I love that you zip line, repel, and other things that have been scary for you.
God gave you determination. He made you industrious. No task is too big for you. You do it and you do it well. You do not have a lazy bone in your body. You are a go-to person...you will get the job done. This is a valuable trait, but as you grow older some will take advantage of this. Learn to set your boundaries and learn to say the word "no". It will serve you well.
You have been blessed with loyalty. When you love someone, you love them without hesitation. You stick by those in your circles and you will fight and stand up for them at all costs. No one will ever be allowed to hurt someone you love if you are around. If someone shows disloyalty to you or to someone you love, you then take note and you are wise where you put your trust from that point forward. This is a wise attribute. Just so you know, I am loyal to you. I will be your champion.
God made you fierce. When you have made your mind up, you are a force to be reckoned with. You are convicted by your beliefs, values, and morals. The answers to the questions you will face as you grow older are already answered because you know where you stand. Life is always a little easier when you know what you value.
You are beyond beautiful. Outward appearance isn't the most important thing in life, but us gals are fooling ourselves if we say we don't like to hear the words, "you are beautiful". I hope I tell you that enough. Your smile is big, bright, and contagious. God placed those fun freckles just perfectly and gave you natural highlights in your hair that no beautician can create.
God also gave you an extremely big heart. That is your most beautiful characteristic. You want to give to those in need. You hurt when others hurt. You want others to do what is right...not to tell them what to do and how to do it...but to spare them the trouble for which they are headed. You are a doer of good, a lover of people, and for those of us that hold a place in this big heart of yours, we have been given a great prize.
There is something I want to warn you about. When you are many of the things that you are, the devil will try to convince you that you do not need anyone else...that all these awesome attributes make it absolutely acceptable and achievable to go at life alone. You will start to believe him. Don't. God created you to help others and to also depend on others. That is why he made families and friendship. Use the wisdom He has given you and find your safe places. I know one that you have already...me...I will always be your safe place.
I have eager anticipation as I think about your future, where you will go and what you will do and who you will continue to become. Your father and I and a few others have opinions and ideas. Watching you I am so sure you will be one of the best at whatever you choose to do. I have a feeling you will travel far and you will do an awful lot of good. You will be a wonderful wife and mother...better than me, I am sure. But my greatest hope is that you will listen carefully to what God has in store and will seek His guidance as you journey along and grow. I know you will. His plans are always bigger, better, and blow all our human ideas right out of the water.
So sweet girl, when you are naturally capable, strong, determined, loyal, fierce, and beautiful, people just don't know how to respond. All these characteristics rarely show up all in one package. It makes it even harder to respond to when the person in question is 11. The easiest response they can come up with is to criticize the qualities they don't understand or may be jealous of, so they throw out a term that makes all these God given abilities seem less intimating.
You are not "bossy". You are a leader. You are all these things I have listed and more. You are extraordinary. I am thankful beyond measure I get to claim you on this earth as mine.
Love, Mom
No comments:
Post a Comment