Thursday, November 30, 2017

Dear Nancy Caroline

I go all "Momma Bear" sometimes. But truthfully, if we are given good cause, I think God expects us moms to do so on occasion. We are tasked with being the champion, advocate, cheerleader, encourager, and protector our children need.

As I share this, I also have a challenge for us all. This hurting each other with our words thing, yeah, it isn't getting much better. In fact, I'd say it is getting worse. It's in our families, among our friends, in our media, and even in our church families. We need to think before we speak. What we say about and to each other, to our faces or behind our backs, can hurt the strongest of people. Let's do better.

This one is for my "Fancy Nancy"...

***

Dear Nancy Caroline,

Today someone called you "bossy".  It made me very angry.

But I composed myself and responded with what I hope was seen as love. Love for the ones that threw out that term so flippantly...but even more love for you.

I know that the term "bossy" and a few others that have been thrown your way really hurt you. My dear one, you put on a brave and strong front, but I am your mother and your friend. I can see the long, far off look in your eyes in the moments after you have heard the words. I believe whole heartedly that words are the most dangerous and most used weapon in our world.

Sometimes these words have come from your peers. Sometimes these words have come from adults. Your peers are learning, and I hope they learn better than these adults that use the same words. Some people need to open their eyes, think outside the box, and be a bit a lot less critical. Praise should be heard at a scream and criticism should be whispered. Usually folks do it the other way around.

Sweet girl, I know you and God did not make you "bossy".

You came into the world very quietly. The seconds seemed to have gone on for hours as we waited to hear your first cries. I pleaded with you as the nurses cleaned you and prepared to lay you on my chest...

"Cry, baby, cry."

And finally you did. And it was the sweetest sound I had ever heard.

From that moment on, I have always been amazed at your abilities and the things God innately blessed you with.

God made you capable. Capable of thinking through situations and being able to weigh the options. You have been blessed with the ability to organize and evaluate situations with very little thought.  You are confident and decisive.

He has also made you strong. Your strength sees you through the emotionally tough days and allows you overcome negative criticism and the nasty behavior of others. Your God-given strength also allows you to do the things that for brief moments you think you can't do.  I know this because I have witnessed you overcome fear and be brave. I love that you zip line, repel, and other things that  have been scary for you.

God gave you determination. He made you industrious. No task is too big for you. You do it and you do it well. You do not have a lazy bone in your body.  You are a go-to person...you will get the job done. This is a valuable trait, but as you grow older some will take advantage of this. Learn to set your boundaries and learn to say the word "no".  It will serve you well.

You have been blessed with loyalty. When you love someone, you love them without hesitation. You stick by those in your circles and you will fight and stand up for them at all costs. No one will ever be allowed to hurt someone you love if you are around.  If someone shows disloyalty to you or to someone you love, you then take note and you are wise where you put your trust from that point forward. This is a wise attribute. Just so you know, I am loyal to you. I will be your champion.

God made you fierce. When you have made your mind up, you are a force to be reckoned with. You are convicted by your beliefs, values, and morals. The answers to the questions you will face as you grow older are already answered because you know where you stand. Life is always a little easier when you know what you value.

You are beyond beautiful. Outward appearance isn't the most important thing in life, but us gals are fooling ourselves if we say we don't like to hear the words, "you are beautiful". I hope I tell you that enough. Your smile is big, bright, and contagious. God placed those fun freckles just perfectly and gave you natural highlights in your hair that no beautician can create.

God also gave you an extremely big heart. That is your most beautiful characteristic. You want to give to those in need. You hurt when others hurt. You want others to do what is right...not to tell them what to do and how to do it...but to spare them the trouble for which they are headed. You are a doer of good, a lover of people, and for those of us that hold a place in this big heart of yours, we have been given a great prize.

There is something I want to warn you about. When you are many of the things that you are, the devil will try to convince you that you do not need anyone else...that all these awesome attributes make it absolutely acceptable and achievable to go at life alone. You will start to believe him. Don't. God created you to help others and to also depend on others. That is why he made families and friendship. Use the wisdom He has given you and find your safe places. I know one that you have already...me...I will always be your safe place.

I have eager anticipation as I think about your future, where you will go and what you will do and who you will continue to become. Your father and I and a few others have opinions and ideas. Watching you I am so sure you will be one of the best at whatever you choose to do. I have a feeling you will travel far and you will do an awful lot of good.  You will be a wonderful wife and mother...better than me, I am sure. But my greatest hope is that you will listen carefully to what God has in store and will seek His guidance as you journey along and grow. I know you will. His plans are always bigger, better, and blow all our human ideas right out of the water.

So sweet girl, when you are naturally capable, strong, determined, loyal, fierce, and beautiful, people just don't know how to respond. All these characteristics rarely show up all in one package. It makes it even harder to respond to when the person in question is 11. The easiest response they can come up with is to criticize the qualities they don't understand or may be jealous of, so they throw out a term that makes all these God given abilities seem less intimating.

You are not "bossy".  You are a leader. You are all these things I have listed and more. You are extraordinary. I am thankful beyond measure I get to claim you on this earth as mine.

Love, Mom

Monday, November 27, 2017

Three kids later...What's a stay-at-home-mom to do???

Fourteen years ago last month, I found out I was going to be a mother. Within the next nine months after that, my body went through miraculous changes, our little apartment was baby proofed beyond measure, and we decided it was best for our new family of three that I stay home with the soon to be born "Baby Jackson".

In 2001 I traded in Ms. Anderson for Mrs. Thomas. In 2004 I traded in Mrs. Thomas for Mommy.

It was the beginning of a new title, a new position, and a pretty hefty promotion. One that I knew God had purposed specifically for me. I was excited and honored to take on such a role. The journey was sure to be adventurous and hard and beautiful and unknown. I was up for the task.  I chose to see it as I was still a teacher...my classroom just looked a little different, and the benefits were much better.

Along the way, my class roll tripled.  Then one by one, the three kids set off to kindergarten.  Fast forward to the present. I now stand looking up to my baby boy, almost eye to eye with one baby girl, and the youngest baby girl promises to catch me all too soon. 13, 11, and 8...it's a new season indeed.



Three kids later...all in school...what is a stay at home mom to do? In the last few weeks, the answer has become very clear to the Thomas family...

The stay at home mom, doesn't have to stay home any longer.

I have given alot of thought about what I want to do, and where I want to go.  I have been thinking back on who I was and what I did before motherhood. I have prayed for wisdom, discernment, and guidance. And at the end of it all, Mrs. Thomas and Mommy can coincide quite well together.

Earlier this month, I began a new adventure back at Watertown High School where my teaching days began in 2000.  The school is in a new building now, is under new administration, has lot of new teachers, and I carry a different title.  Many friends have snickered when I tell them I am the In School Suspension Coordinator. But in my last 13+ years as "mom", I have learned even more so how to be firm and tough, but at the same time loving, helpful, and kind. My last full time position has prepared me pretty well for this new role, I'd say.



This week...today...this season focused on Thanksgiving...my mind is on all of you fellow sisters out there working hard to make a difference somehow and in someway.  Many before us have worked extremely hard for the generations that have followed to be able to have a say, to be treated equally, and to be admired for creating some of the most challenging balancing acts.

Some of us are young and spirited and free, challenged by the demands of furthering our education. There are others of us a little further along in their story, getting our feet wet in the career that we have chosen. Some of us are wives, trying to manage through the maze of marriage. There is a good portion of us that are professionals, keeping our communities moving and shaking. Young and old alike, those of us that are mothers are trying to keep our own identity, while making sure the ones that made us mothers can find theirs as well. Then there are some of us, that do a little bit of it all, and give so much inspiration to those of us that don't think that we can.

To all of us, I say BRAVO!  I am honored to call you sister and friend. It takes all of us in all our different roles to get His work done.

But if you are in this tribe and you are doubting yourself; I feel ya! I have doubted myself so many times. Doubt and fear almost kept me away from this new job. But that doubt comes from only one source and he is the ultimate enemy. He creates the feelings of inadequacy, shame, and guilt too. The father of all evil is what we will call him. And all these feelings he conjures up by calling out our insecurities and struggles are lies.

His lies can be combated and conquered by one thing and one thing only. Our identity in Christ Jesus.  We are His. He created us, molds us, uses us to be educated community members, professionals, friends, wives, mothers, and so much more. We are all these things, but we are His namesake first. And if we keep that in mind, with a life in service to Him is our focus...we can do all things through Him.



I am more than excited about this new adventure. I already enjoy my work. My favorite part is meeting all my new co-workers and the students that call Watertown High School home. I loved teaching here back in the day...I think I am about to love it even more now.

To the immediate ones in my circles, I say thank you. The encouragement you have given me has helped me step out of the familiar. Some of you have stepped up and helped out as my family of five gets adjusted to this change of schedule. I appreciate your acts of kindness more than you know. For every text, phone call, and upbeat, "Hey how's that new job going?" my days have been made a little brighter. Thank you for being "mine" but more importantly for being "His".


Saturday, November 11, 2017

Michael's 40th Year

40. It's a milestone, yet intimidating. It shows great significance in scripture. Divided by 2, it breathes in the freedom of youth. Multiplied by 2, some think it unreachable. We all treat it as an accomplishment.

Last year on this very day, my best friend turned 40. We celebrated big, praised the Creator for bringing him into the world, and asked for many more years of Michael Thomas.




Since I met him I have heard of a goal he had set for himself...to run a marathon. Michael spoke of if a lot and then life would get in the way. Medicine, fatherhood, work.  On the night of his 40th birthday, he committed to running it during his milestone year.

Christmas rolled around and not a lot was going on in his training. So, Santa gave him a little boost with a special "marathon goodie box", complete with a running watch, Bluetooth earbuds, good socks, a running plan, and a gift card to Fleet Feet for some good shoes. And with that, off he went.

He ran through the neighborhood, then he headed out into Woodbury.  He ran on weekend getaways in Pigeon Forge and Asheville. In February, he ran in Africa while on a medical mission trip. In March and July he ran on Saba. He started running on the four lane toward the Boro. Occasionally, he would run in the opposite way toward McMinnville.  He ran through the campus at Clemson while Jackson was at football camp.  He ran in the morning and at night and every hour in between.

When cross country sign ups started at Woodbury Grammar School, all three kids wanted to be like Dad, so they signed up with Coach Elrod.



Everyone started complimenting the fine running physique and determination of my husband. For those of you that don't know, Michael and I are very competitive, so this momma laced up her shoes and took off alongside him.




Michael's 40th year...the year the Thomas 5 started running.

His muscles hurt. His bones ached. He ended up "bonking" a time or two. But he kept at it.

He worked on an intensive bible study. He took a promotion at work, creating more responsibilities. The kids schedule got beyond hectic. He still ran.

He craved the junk food. He wanted to lay on the couch. He didn't want to run. He ran anyway.

It was fun and exciting to watch. But it started to become beautiful the more I watched him.

This husband of mine prayed for strength and praised God for each and every accomplishment. He asked others...the brothers that had helped him celebrate that 40th birthday...to pray for him.  He asked for help and guidance of other Christian and believing men that had run the experience and course before him.  He took advise and compliments with grace and thankfulness.  He relied upon the four people in his house to give him encouragement and support. He didn't ever really run alone.

This past September, with tons of Gatorade and GU gels packed in our car, we headed to Tupelo, Mississippi. Michael was one of many that would run in the 2017 Labor Day weekend Tupelo Marathon where their slogan is "Trample the Weak, Hurdle the Dead".

He didn't trample or hurdle anyone, but he finished all 26.2 miles in just seconds over 5 hours. He ran solid and he ran strong. And I was beyond proud and more than moved.



Michael has taught me during his 40th year that first and foremost, God gets the glory for everything. If you can move your legs, praise Him. If you wake up with the ability to breathe much less run, praise Him. If He provides you with friends and family that support you, praise Him. If you have the ability to reach a goal, praise Him.

He also has taught me that there is no shame in asking for help, accepting advice, and admitting you don't always have it figured out. We can talk a big game, but you have to really accept God's gift of community and live it both ways to understand God's plan and reason for creating us for each other.  It is great to be the giver, but it is just as great to be the receiver.

Michael has taught me that it's going to hurt so bad at times, but you heal and recover and keep on going. It is so true that through the greatest weaknesses that us humans have, that is when God's greatest strengths show off. Never, ever throw in the towel. He makes all things new.

Lastly, Michael has taught me to go about things with patience and faith. He ran slow and steady and trained so patiently. He had faith in himself, in the running plan and process. But his greatest faith was in God.

Back in July of 2001, our dads used the following verse in our wedding ceremony...

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have remained faithful."  II Timothy 4:7

This man has been my greatest joy at times. Every now and again he has been the source of much frustration. He has even created some hurt in my heart. But at the end of day, he is who I want to come home to. He is who I plan to grow old and wrinkly with. He has helped me realize that the hard stuff exists in every marriage and if both partners are willing to allow Him, the Father can make earthly marriage extraordinary, no matter what.

I am honored to fight the good fight alongside this fella. He is a pretty good battlefield partner to have at my side. His faith in the Father's forgiveness and providence keeps our family grounded. One day, I will be thankful to stand at the feet of our Savior at the end of the race knowing he encouraged me in many different ways all along the way. He will have helped me get there. I hope he can say the same about me.

Today, Michael turned 41.  We celebrated as he crossed the finish line of a half marathon over in nearby Franklin. I love watching this guy run the race...physically and spiritually.