Hindsight is 2020

They say silence is golden.

If that’s the case, 2020 has been filled with lots of gold. At least from this blog.

It’s a couple of hours till midnight. Back in March if you had asked me if I had wanted the end of 2020 to come fast I would’ve said absolutely not. I don’t ever want to wish time away. 

But here we are 120 minutes before 2021, and I’m trying to find the words to describe what the last year has held. Eager to see its demise. 

With negativity all around, it’s easy to be negative. Its 2020...it’s been so easy to point out all the bad stuff about this year. But a little voice inside me is saying, "Hey, don’t do that anymore." The voice points me in a different direction, completely opposite pretty much of every other voice I’ve heard in the last 365 days.

So I start to ponder.

I got a new dishwasher.

That is the one and only thing I can come up with.

As those that love me the most know, I’m going to use one of my signature phrases.

That’s pitiful. 

A dish washer. That’s the best I can come up with???

Pitiful.

I mean seriously...a year of a virus...a complete shut down...a year of injustice...a year of nasty American politics...a year where so much has been taken away. Too much to even name. 

Of course, on spot a dishwasher is the best I got. 

As we end this year I am sitting watching a new series with two of the three kids. The Chosen. A series about Jesus. 

He laughs and makes jokes. My heart smiles big as I hear the kids chuckle. 

He has a soft spot for his mother. He makes fish appear for his friends and turns water into wine and then dances at a wedding. 

He calls a woman by her name and casts out all her demons. He tells a lame man to walk and rids shame from a provocative woman. 

And he takes time to talk with the little people. The ones everyone else ignores.

Where has he been in my 2020? 

He has been in the delight of my daughter’s eyes as the clock struck midnight 365 days ago a block away from Times Square. 

He was in the hearts of a group of college students as they prepared to love on Caribbean children on a five square mile island, not knowing what was waiting a few weeks away.

He was in the heart of my dear friend as she said goodbye to her mother. 

He was in the solitude of a quiet Caribbean beach. 

He was at a bus stop in Hell’s Gate.

He was in a ripe strawberry patch with my sister and my girls.

I saw Him in the wisdom of a friend as we walked our neighborhood and talked about life. 

He was in the excitement of an anxious bride as she prepared to become a wife. 

He was present at summer family dinners with two special friends. 

He was heard in the laughter that echoed through our home as we played games and found joy in our family of five. 

He was in the sunset as my I watched my parents walk side by side, knowing that is their favorite place to be.

He was in the excitement of the news of a baby to be welcomed. An honorary grandchild! 

He was in the eagerness of my freshman and the courage of my middle schooler. 

He ran alongside a cross country program as they completed an unexpected full season. Region champs and eighth in the state... icing on the cake. 

He was on the sidelines every Friday night with a Purple Tiger who wore number 53, never missing a game. 

He was in the half empty halls of high school and the chaos of an elementary school. 

He walked alongside a family as they began to question and wander exactly what He was calling them to do and where to go. He held their hands as they got comfortable with a new normal, in a newer circle. 

When you take away the busy...the completely full calendar...the detailed plans...He is there. Beautifully and wonderfully there in the simplicity of an unexpected but yet complicated year. He is there. 

I am thankful. 

Looking back on 2020...all we have really done is argued. 

The virus...real or not real. Masks...to wear or not to wear. Blue lives...black lives...all lives. Biden...Trump...or who. To vaccinate...or to not vaccinate. Traditional school...virtual school. 

And we all scream. Let’s all make sure our opinion is heard...our side is louder than the other. Let’s set the others straight. We are in the right...right?

Are you tired? 

I know I am. 

Let’s throw up the flag of surrender and admit none of us have it all figured out. 

The kids start a new episode. Jesus. He is full of grace and patience...we all should take pause and notice. He swam against the current. He found the silver lining even when there were storms. To every question and problem, He not only had an answer...He was the answer...He still remains the only answer. 

He didn’t scream. He didn’t argue. He didn’t write a post to prove a point. Conservative. Liberal. Moderate. I don’t think he used those terms. 

He just was and he just did. 

He was just love. 

In the next 365 days a lot will happen...some bad and some good. It may be better than 2020...but then again, it may not be. In all of it I just pray I i can see Him clearer and be more like Him than I did and was in the last 365 days. 

Goodbye 2020...hello 2021. 

Thank you, Jesus, for it all. Let us be more like you. Let us be love.