#7...A Teacher and A Mother

In April of 1999, I was a student at Tennessee Tech University majoring in Human Ecology with a concentration in Family and Consumer Sciences Education. Ever since I could remember I had wanted to be a teacher, an educator. In high school I had found my niche in Family and Consumer Sciences (Home Ec for all you old schoolers). So, it was with great excitement I started my first practicum in an area high school that Spring semester.

Then two teenagers walked into Columbine High School in Colorado wearing trench coats, with guns and make shift bombs. They killed 13 classmates and teachers, and then themselves.

My excitement turned to fear. My dream turned to doubt. And my mentality of giving every student a fair shake turned into skepticism. I can still remember the anxiety that I felt in the pit of my stomach as I would park my car and walk into the doors of the given high school.

"What have I done? What have I gotten myself into? Do I really want to be a teacher? I didn't sign up to be in a war zone?"

It was an internal struggle as to what to do and how to come to terms with the profession I had chosen. I can remember sleepless nights, anxiety and stress, and longs talks with my parents. Somehow and in some way I know I came to terms with all those feelings and found peace, because the end result was a good grade in the practicum and a year later a degree and a good score on the Praxis. I became a teacher.

The media swarmed the story. For months every time you turned on the television you heard the discussion about what needed to be done and what things needed to change. Parents expressed fears. Children wept. Inspiring stories of faith and heroism were told, but were overshadowed by the issue that no one had ever seen coming. The reality of what had happened still seemed like the unimaginable. Politicians debated gun control laws. The media pointed fingers.  Debates were plentiful. Decisions were few.

Fast forward...almost nineteen years later. History repeats itself.

On February 14, 2018, I am once again a teacher. But this time when 17 are murdered in a Florida high school, I am more than a teacher.

I am a mother.

As I carry that title, I can not begin to explain the feelings I have. The anxiety is stifling. The fear is greater than any fear I have ever had for myself. The questions go beyond decisions I have made for myself.

"How do I protect them? How do I prepare them? How do I explain the unexplainable?"

I feel like I should write a book about how I feel when I leave for work, sending the three kids in an opposite direction for a day that I hope and pray is filled only with safety, peace, and learning, as it is supposed to be. But for the life of me I can't begin to explain how I feel.  It's complex, heart breaking, and way too emotional. I can not imagine being in the shoes of the parents that are now void of the laughter of one of their children. I mourn with them and for them. 

To put it extremely simple...I want to come home. I want them to come home. Everyday.

The one thing that I know for certain is this...

"Where God's love is, there is no fear, because God's perfect love takes away fear. It is punishment that makes a person fear. So love is not made perfect in the person who has fear."

1 John 4:18

Last night around the Thomas family dinner table, there were questions. Our two oldest had thoughts and feelings and needed some answers. And then from our youngest came something different...tears.

My free spirited little third grader. She should be able to stay that way; free spirited, worry free, filled with joy. She should be able to get in line order and visit her school library without a second thought. She should be able to roll down the hill at recess, laughing without hesitation. She should be growing and learning uninhibited by the thought of someone shooting in her school or any school in her country.

Another emotion rises hot and high in this mother...anger.

Some folks will say that the problem started when God was taken out of school. That the separation of church and state is the problem. Many say that when prayer was taken out of the classroom, removed from the ball field, and silenced at graduations, that is when the problem started. 

No law or amendment took God out of school. He wasn't removed. Prayers can not be silenced by any human. No government or judge or president can separate God from anything. His presence is in the corner of every classroom. He walks the halls in every school, private or public, elementary or secondary. He hears the prayers of the students at lunch when human ears can't. He is in every locker room, on every ball field, and in every principal's office.

God wasn't removed from schools. That isn't the problem. We started ignoring Him. That is the problem.

When He is ignored chaos ensues. What does the chaos look like? Teachers that only teach to test scores.  Parents that give excuses, too afraid to be more than the child's friend.  Principal's who are worried more about being "fair" than being just. Students that do not know how to take responsibility or how to be kind. No one knows how to effectively communicate. They only know how to shout and yell and argue. Relationship doesn't exist...it is a distant memory.

But there are people; teachers, students, staff, and parents; that do not ignore Him. And as long as those people are walking the halls of our schools, He is very much present. With those teachers at the white boards, with those staff members at watch, with those parents supporting from home and volunteering, and with those students seated in the desks...His love is there, perfect without fear. 

So that is the only thing their father and I knew to share with them...

"There is no fear in perfect love. Do not fear because He has overcome the world. You know His love; you feel it in your hearts...it's moving through your souls...it's seen in your smiles...it's heard in your kind words...and it felt in your loving actions. He is with you all day, every day. And with Him you can have a peace that the world can never understand. You know His love; you understand it; show it to the world. And have no fear because of His love."

Once again, we as a nation, and even some of our neighbors, are shouting and debating about what should be done about gun control and other things that we are linking to these horrific crimes. There is a lot of talk...but not a lot of change and action. Are we even talking about the things that matter and will make a difference? I am not here to join in the debate. Sometimes I think if we stopped arguing and just did all the things that folks put out on the table; that if we just do it all, that it may just be enough. Because at what cost are we willing to keep arguing? The cost has already been far too great for the parents and families that have lost children and loved ones. I know I would give up anything and change my life in any way to insure my children, and all American children, could go to school with safety, security, and peace.

Just do it all. As my friend Amber said in the past week, "Whatever it takes." We need the same safety that can now be felt in airports and at arenas. Laws need to be made.  Our children need the security of an education free from worry of injury and death. Some things need to and have to change. We need to be better. Columbine High to Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School...19 years and multiple school shootings in between. We should have already been better by now.

Above all, stop ignoring the only One that can drive out the fear.

"I told you these things so that you can have peace in me. In this world you will have trouble. But be brave! I have overcome the world!"

John 16:33

#6...Documentary 3: One Family

The first memory I have of Lynne Johnson was on September 11, 2001. I was the new teacher at Saba Comprehensive School and she was the only other “American” on staff. She is from New York originally but has lived almost her entire “adult” life as a Caribbean Dutch resident. That day we connected as we watched the horror unfold on the school computer lab desk tops. 

In the weeks and months to follow she mentored me so lovingly into life as a small Caribbean island teacher. She taught me the ropes and gave me the best advice. 

Ms. Lynne is the reason I slice an avocado on my chicken salad and sprinkle pecans and salt on top. She taught me what a baseball/soccer/any kind of sport mom was suppose do and look like. Ms. Lynne encouraged me to say “yes” more than “no” to my own children. She has shown me the epitome of grace, hospitality, and coolness in the midst of stress. She is the reason I enjoy afternoon coffee. She has shown me the value of a calm, beautiful, slow paced life based on relationship. She is a treasure to me. 

Documentary 3...I am so excited to share this one, because my friends, you get to meet my precious Ms. Lynne. Everyone needs someone just like this lady in their life. 

Along with her, our friend Jonathan, aka Governor Johnson, is featured in this third installment. He has been an amazing and fun friend and truly one of the best leaders I have ever known. He has a pretty awesome wife, too. (Had to give you a shout out, Rosa!)

One of my dear students speaks about Lipscomb as well. Jessica Gumbs brought a lot of goodness to my days at Saba Comprehensive. I am so proud to witness the young lady she has become, full of determination and drive. I am thankful that I still get to visit with her each trip and I am honored to be in her life and have her in mine.

The principal that Jessica now works under was interviewed and was shown in the first episode as well. Diane Wilson has been a constant for the children of Saba for years now. She has my utmost respect and I count her as a great friend and role model.

I am so happy that Myron is featured as well in this episode. Many times, folks easily see how blessed this fella has been by Lipscomb. But in my opinion Lipscomb and so many others here have been even more blessed by him.

And Rolland, Bri, and Mikayla...three of the many reasons so many Lipscomb students and their friends keep going back to this Unspoiled Queen. 

Meet some of our Saban loved ones. Enjoy this final episode of the documentary series. We truly are One Family...

Saba: One Family from Lipscomb Missions on Vimeo.

#5...The Second Documentary

Only about 25 people know who actually wore the "LU the Bison" while entertaining the kids at Sacred Heart School back a few years ago.

A select few know the premise behind the term, "Where's Norm?"

Another few folks truly believe that gorillas exist on Caribbean islands.

Not very many people have ridden on "The Cool Bus" with my husband behind the wheel.

It's quite a feat to say you have hiked "The Ladder", "Whale's Head", or Mt. Scenery. 

Compared to the amount of people in this world, only a hand full know what the stars at Well's Bay look like at nighttime.

In the grand scheme things, there are not many folks who have enjoyed a juicy, ripe mango straight off of a tree while walking on the streets in The Bottom. 

Less than 400 people know what is feels like to land on the shortest commercial runway in the world and tell the man in the customs window, "I am with Lipscomb and will be staying in the Sunny Valley Youth Center for 10 days."

In my previous post I shared the first of a three part documentary series on Saba and the Lipscomb University trips that have been a part of the island for over fifteen years now. Below you will find the second documentary that focuses on the impact that these trips have had on the people that make this work happen...the students of Lipscomb University and their friends.

These team members have come to mean more to me, Michael, and the three kids than we can speak. I never dreamed my heart could grow so big for a group of "college students". They have taught me to laugh longer, love easier, and live more enthusiastically. Jackson has had some wonderful role models that he would have never known if hadn't been for these trips. My girls have learned confidence and what true beauty looks like as they set at the feet of some of the most amazing young ladies ever. Our family continues to do life alongside many of them, even though their years at Lipscomb with Spring Break and Summer mission trips have ended. We are so thankful for each and every one of them.

In Heaven I bet somewhere there will be a big slab of concrete called a parking lot, complete with a garbage truck and loud music, and all these sweet people from all these precious teams will be circled up together in the greatest "family meeting" ever.

I love all you current and former Saba-Lipscomb team members more than you know! Documentary 2 is dedicated to you...



Saba: Small Island, Big Impact from Lipscomb Missions on Vimeo.

#4...A Documentary

Last year around this time, Lipscomb Missions let us know that an intern had chosen our trip to Saba to compile footage and information for a documentary that would be edited and released by the department a few months later. Michael and I really did not know what to expect.

Spring Break of 2017 came and we got to know an amazing intern named Grant Exline.  He brought along a big camera and a cool drone and explored Saba like crazy. During the ten days he also took time to interview his teammates, talk to me and Michael, and visit with a lot of Sabans. Grant was such a big part of our team. He was a true team member, teaching in classes and helping with events. On the flip side, at times he got to set back and watch the trip from a different perspective, seeing how all of it worked together to accomplish the goal...relationships built on the love of Jesus Christ.

Grant brought all that footage back and passed it off to the very talented Katie Biachini. Her job was to edit and put all the pieces of the puzzle together.  The more Katie looked at and focused on the material, the more she realized that to be able to tell the story, she wanted and needed to be a part of it. So, in July of last year, she boarded a plane and became a team member herself, working alongside us at Child Focus' Day Camp. She also was a beautiful part of our team.

Katie came back with more footage and interviews and got to work again. Erin Gupton, Lipscomb Missions Coordinator and Event Planner and one of our Saba co-leaders, worked hand in hand with Katie. She was consulted on the ins and outs of the trip and explained who was who as the interviews began to be dissected down.

The fall semester rolled around and a target date was set. A big event was planned. Katie kept hard at work. Erin began to iron out the details. Many of us searched out old photos and videos to share. And we all marked our calendars for Tuesday night January 30.

This past Tuesday night two documentaries of the three part series debuted to a room full of current team members, veterans of the past trips, and friends and family.  The third is set to be released later this month.

Here I humbly share the first one for now. For those of you that know me well, you know that I love to tell stories and to hear other people's stories. Stories of God's beautiful handy work, redemption, and making all things work together for His purpose are my favorite. This first installment shares much of the story of how Michael and I met Saba and chronicles the beginning of the work. God is pretty clever...

Saba: Journey to the Unspoiled Queen from Lipscomb Missions on Vimeo.