Grandmother

When I was a little girl, one of my favorite things was for my maternal grandparents to come visit at our house. They'd come and we would go to town, maybe get an ice cream cone or some candy at the local five and dime. The afternoon would slip away and my sister and I would find ourselves begging them to stay the night. That way the fun wouldn't have to end. The two of them would give their excuses and  load up their car.

Privately my big sister would whisper in my ear..."Start crying. They will stay."

So, I'd muster up the water works and stand in the door as they drove away.

Nine times out of ten they'd get to the head of the road and turn around and spend the night in the guest bedroom at 37 Sunnyview Lane.

I have often wondered over the years, which one caved first. Was it Grandaddy or Grandmother who decided the two little girls needed another night of fun? Who told who to turn around and head back down the street?

Tonight I pillow my head in a different world. As I kiss the three kids goodnight, I have a hard time finding words. My tears mix and mingle with their tears. Together we pray for comfort and peace and give thanksgiving.

Grandmother, the last of my four grandparents, fell asleep today with her last earthly breath.  My mother was by her side, just the two of them, which even though makes me sad, seems very fitting. I have never known a mother and daughter to be any closer. They were the best of friends...I know this because my grandmother had told me that on many occasions over the years. If I can care for my mother even half as well as she cared for my grandmother, I know the Father will be pleased. Their relationship was remarkable to witness.

The last couple of weeks have been difficult to watch. Grandmother took a fall and she spent the last days in a hospital and a nursing home. We spent time with her, caring for her, and loving on her. She was quiet much of the time, but we were able to have moments filled with memories and good talks. The last most coherent thing she said to me will always ring in my ears and stay on my heart...

"You are going to love your grandchildren."

She was one of those grandmothers that was the epitome of the word. She was lovable, wise, and comforting. When I was around her, even up until a few weeks ago, I always had the urge just to climb up in her lap and snuggle for a while. She always had a listening ear and knew just the right thing to say to make any situation seem easier.  When my husband became her grandson-in-law, he quickly learned the reputation Grandmother had and would say with confidence, "If Grandmother says it, it's gospel."

She was the hand to hold and the fun playmate that always said "yes" to the little girl who thought she could do no wrong. My favorite things as a child were to help her water flowers and make messes in her kitchen.  Grandmother saw me through the teenage years and the chaos of college. She watched as Michael and I walked down the aisle. She gave advice across the distance of an ocean and the long stretch of interstate between Highland and St. Louis. It didn't matter if it was as simple as how to make pickles or as difficult as how to navigate marriage...she always had the answer. She rooted me on as I became a mother three times over. She graciously and proudly loaned her name to my little Sadie Emogene.  Grandmother always loved bigger and better than anyone...that is just who she was...at least in my eyes.  She was my champion.

Tomorrow, fried apple pies won't taste the same. From now on I won't smell the mixture of peppermints, Wrigley's Doublemint gum, and White Diamonds. I know I will never be able to produce the perfect pickle. Every now and then I will go buy Russell Stover chocolates and smush every piece, finding the caramels but now leaving the coconuts. When I call my youngest by her full name in a moment of urgency, my heart just might skip a beat. Purple polka dotted dresses, dusters, and house shoes will always make me smile. Tomorrow, after thirty nine years...I will miss her so very much.

But I am so thankful. She has helped make me the woman that I am today. I credit her for my loyalty and love of family.  She helped mold me into the homemaker, wife, and mother that I am.  She instilled a work ethic in her girls that has proven valuable.  Grandmother's positive nature and fun disposition is one I hope to always model.

And there is always joy. She is healed now and she has no more pain. Even though we are left here and the emptiness of her absence hurts and saddens, knowing she has the ultimate joy lifts the burden.

I am not exactly sure how things go when one dies, but I'd like to think she has been reunited with my grandaddy. I'd like to think she is at her most favorite age of life, probably a young and beautiful wife... or maybe the younger grandmother with a mess in the kitchen and laughter in her heart. I can imagine he takes her by the hand and invites her to sit on their porch. She might look back for a moment...

"Bedford, don't you think they want us to stay? Shouldn't we stay just one more night? Look, Aletha is crying again."

I can hear him snicker, and maybe he feels the urge to give in, but he knows better. The radiant joy and extravagant love that surrounds her now assures them both that they don't won't to turn around now...no need to head back down the street...they'll just have to wait for the two little girls to join them later.

What a sleepover that will be!