You look at me and see a woman and you assume I am weak.
You look at me and see a white person and assume I consider myself privileged.
You look at me and see an American and assume I am idiotically arrogant.
You look at me and see a stay at home mom and assume I do not have value in a profession.
You look at me and see a physician's wife and assume "I have it made".
You look at me and see a believer in God and a Christian and assume I am judgmental or maybe ignorant.
Look at me and make your assumptions, but please do not assume that your words do not hurt. They do. And please know that the fact that you do not allow the time to let the knowledge of who I really am prove your assumptions wrong, hurts even deeper.
You may look different than me and think differently than me. You may believe completely opposite of me. You may value things that I don't value.
But I tell you this...I value you because you are a living, breathing fellow human. I value you no matter your age, race, or color. I value you no matter where you call home. I value you despite imperfections, mistakes, or challenges. I value you because you matter, no matter what.
I write this not because I have been offended or attacked personally. I write this because many people I know have been offended and feel attacked, and that hurts me deeply. I write this because we are all doing life wrong when we place our hopes, dreams, and trust in humans. We are doing life wrong when we call others stupid, fools, and much worse. We are doing life wrong when we use sarcasm, negativity, and hate. We are doing life wrong when we think our way of thinking is the only way of thinking.
One of our former First Ladies said something along these lines...
"Your success as a family... our success as a nation... depends not on what happens inside the White House, but on what happens inside your house." Barbara Bush
If you have issue with race relations, abortion, sex trafficking, hunger, immigration, or whatever touches your heart, start by talking about it at home. And make plans to just not talk about but to do something about it. Stop ranting and slandering and do something about the problems we face that keep you awake at night. What you do, it may be something small in the eyes of many, but as the smartest 10 year old I know says, "If we all do a little, it will make a lot!". It starts with us!
We have to start being thankful for the unique differences in each other. We need to learn to agree to disagree and get along in spite of our different views, opinions, and beliefs.
Somewhere along the way someone thought it would be a good idea to make a joke out of what someone else found important and liked. It started with something as simple as say the football team that you cheer for...then maybe the church one attends...then a choice someone made. And now we make fun, throw nasty words, and say hateful things, about everything, from the least to the greatest.
So let's start out small again. The next time that you decide to call the fans of a certain football team rednecks and idiots, take a moment to think if someone you love cheers for that team. The next time you want to throw out a joke about a certain religion, try to remember that someone that you love and respect probably practices that faith. The next time you curse another nationality, remember you may have good and kind friends that call that country home. And the next time you want to go on and on and on about how disgusted you are and how much you hate a said group of people because they have chosen something differently than you, go back to the golden rule and think about how you would want someone to treat you.
Because here's the deal. There's lots of things in this world that I think, and some things that I know, are not what God intended for us to be. I pray about these things. I've even been known to teach about some of these topics in Bible classes and in public settings. We should always speak truth and speak out against what is wrong. God desires us to follow Him, do what is right, and speak of and encourage that in others. Speak only on God-given truth and give guidance and advice and teach with love and compassion.
But the one thing I think that we've lost sight of is God intended for us to love others, even though we may disagree with them. And He gave us the ability and right to choose. And the most simplest way to CHOOSE is to show love to someone is through your words. The words that you verbally speak to someone's face, or perhaps behind their back (insert cringe here), and also the words that you quickly type onto a Facebook post, Instagram account, or a Tweet.
Some may pose the question, "Well what if you don't believe in God? What if that isn't your thing?"
First off, I'd love to sit down with you and tell you my story. It can speak for its self. Secondly, I think we all can do the following, no matter our spiritual beliefs.
Before you make your assumptions, spew your words, and take your actions, I beg you to think on these things...
Is it kind? Is it respectful? Is it offensive and hurtful to someone who I love and who loves me? Is it just a preference or opinion? Is it teaching younger generations to disrespect? If the answer is "yes", I beg with you to STOP.
Does it bring life or does it cause hate? If it causes anything but love, please STOP.
Are the beliefs and comments of someone else targeted at you? Just because someone thinks differently than you, does that mean that they are evil and hate you? Please STOP being so easily offended and START truly living the concept that we ALL have the right to our own opinions.
So I invite you...
Take a look at me, but please choose to look a bit deeper that the titles I carry. Look beyond the color and nationality that you see. Dig deep into the ideas, past experiences, and struggles that make me who I am. I want to know you and respect you and celebrate and love our differences and uniqueness. I want and expect the same from you. What we see in each other may not be as comfortable as what we would like it to be. We will not agree on everything. But I guarantee we can learn from one another if we decide not to assume and hate but to know and love and respect, despite it all.
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