Happy Father's Day

As you know each Spring we head to Saba with a group of fun, service filled, intentional, relationship seeking folks. Saba is one of 22 locations Lipscomb descends upon every March. Many people make lots of things happen for these trips to be possible. My sweet friend Erin Gupton has overseen the compiling and publishing of a devotional guide for the past two years. It has been a beautiful addition to Lipscomb's Spring Break Missions. Knowing 22 teams are spread out all over the globe, but are focusing on the same thoughts daily is more than moving. Miles separate us, but we are one.

This past Spring she asked me to contribute to the devo guide. My topic was grace and forgiveness. As you may see on this blog, that topic is a big part of my heart. What I wrote about is very fitting to share today. 

Happiest of Father's Day to Edward Anderson...the truest of examples of my Good, Good Father.

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I can remember the first time I knew I had actually sinned. It was a lie. At seven years old and in second grade, the greatest fear I had was disappointing my parents. So when I messed up at school, my first inclination was to hide the fact that I had gotten in trouble.

It was easy to hide my mistakes that afternoon for a while. My mother questioned me a bit, and then we went about a normal afternoon at the Anderson house. But then my father came home.  My little mind had not a clue my mother was suspicious.  She asked me to describe the events of the day to my daddy and he listened carefully.,taking in my deceptive take on it. After I finished, he put me on his knee and asked with kindest voice, "Are you sure that is how it happened?"

I can remember the heaviness in my heart and how the lump in my throat got so big that I couldn't swallow. My earthly father made it so incredibly easy to shed tears and tell him exactly what had happened and that I had lied to cover up what I had done.

For a brief moment I can remember the sting of the fear of punishment.  I dreaded what was about to be dealt. But what was said was a bit different than my seven year old self expected.

My dad began to tell me that yes, I had messed up, made a mistake, but that did not make me a bad person. He knew me that I would never be perfect and he was good with that. He forgave me and was proud that I had told him the truth in the end. And I have always remembered the last thing he told me before I hopped off his knee..."I love you. Learn from this mistake."

My earthly father extended the most loving grace to me that afternoon, and many more times in my life since. He forgave without a heavy dose of disappointment and punishment, knowing that the regret that I carried was enough of a load. He taught me to forgive.

What is so amazing though is that this example is but just a glimpse of the grace and forgiveness extended from my Heavenly Father.  Once you know His grace, you have to work extremely hard to get loose from it's grip.  It forgives easily.  It guides lovingly.  It completely erases wrongs.

We will still feel the lump in our throat at times. The sting of fear will be present at times. But...

If you are open to His grace, if you strive to embrace and understand His forgiveness, if you accept it, the grace and forgiveness that you then will extend to others comes easily.  Realizing that the sins that plague you nailed Christ on the cross, that He felt every burden of our sins with every sting of the whip and pierce of the thorns, that He felt the shame and guilt even though He was completely blameless...and still the Father forgives you fully, completely, freely...that is more than freeing! It allows you to forgive like He has and does. It allows you to show the most amazing mercy.  It allows you to love relentlessly. His grace and forgiveness will allow you to forgive the little things and prepare you toll the road to forgiveness when someone you love deeply wrongs you terribly.

So during this time on your given mission, extend grace and forgiveness in the little ways. Practice it. When someone says something the wrong way or in the wrong tone, don't be so easily offended. When someone takes the last two strips of bacon at breakfast, be happy for them. When your teammate leaves a mess and you help clean it up, have a good attitude and a servant heart. If someone wrongs you, keep no record of it. Forgive. Show mercy. Extend grace. Be a glimpse of the forgiveness and grace extended to you every second, every minute, of every day.

By the way, I told my dad that I was telling you this story of my childhood mistake. He had no recollection of it.  Our Father's forgiveness...isn't it grand!?

Where Is The Grace?

I pulled up Facebook a few weeks back. Killing some time as I sat alone on a bench waiting for eleven other people to come out of a bathroom at Disney World. Do you know how many bathroom breaks a party of 12 has to take while vacationing at The Happiest Place on Earth?! Some people have the bladder of a flea...but I love them completely, tiny bladder and all. And I digress...

So there I was scrolling down the news feed, and a post caught my eye. A friend was irritated and put out.

We have all been there. Hungry. In a hurry. In need of fast food. And fast is the last thing the food is, not to mention it isn't even what was ordered. And then round two fails at order promptness and correctness.

You huff and puff a bit but you don't yell. You do not throw insults at the cashier. But what do you do when your feathers get ruffled...you take to Facebook and you rant.

Where is the grace?

A few years back when my 12 year old was ten years less, we were visiting friends in Mexico. Jackson was introduced to Jamaica, a kool aid type drink made from the Hibiscus flower. To say he loved it is an understatement.

As we sat with friends at one of our favorite local taco joints, Jackson sipped away on the deep dark red juice. And before we knew it, most of us were suddenly covered and stained from the toddlers drink of choice.

I jumped up, panicking, frustrated, embarrassed.

Where is the patience?

On Wednesday afternoons during the school year, I help out at an after school program with the church family of which I am a part. We snack, we play, we serve, and we learn. Anywhere between 50 to 75 kids are in attendance on a given day.

Most days are good, and the kids are happy.  But they are kids. They have arguments, they act out, and they throw slurs.

"That's stupid."

"I am not your friend anymore!"

"You are an idiot!"

Where did they learn this stuff from?

The access to information on this earth now is unprecedented. In order to know something we want to know all we have to do is Google it, get on Facebook, or check the latest tweet. The days of just watching the local news are a thing of the past.

You know what your neighbor is eating for dinner, not to mention the latest social news that everyone is talking about. In a year's span we talk about politics, issues concerning gender, mission work and religion, how others parent, and how we treat animals.

Alot of us become obsessed and lash out at all others that have differing opinions than we do.  We are quick to point out how others mess up and how they could do better.

Where is the humility?

You may be wondering where I am going with all this. My heart is heavy. I look at us and the world in which we live and can see that we are screwing a lot of things up. We have opportunities everyday to make the world better. We squander these moments due to short tempers, busy schedules, and the absence of grace.

Instead of seeing the good in people, we size them up and place judgement in their actions, words, and intentions.

We see the mom loose it in the grocery aisle and immediately think she is a horrible mother. The cashier messes up the amount of change he gives us back. We snap at him and are appalled he can't even do simple math.  Our kid's teacher forgets to send home the school newsletter. Oh my goodness, we aren't going to know what is for lunch or what is going on this week in class! Can't she get her act together?!  A child at church is out of control and has bad manners. This child gets on our nerves. The simple answer in our minds is a good spanking or scolding.

We don't always only have these attitudes toward strangers.  It seeps into our homes and our friendships and in the mirror.  Dads are hard on sons, wanting them to act like "men" well before the times are passed when they just need to be a little boys.  Us wives sit around in our circles and complain about our husbands shortcomings. We beat ourselves up when we forget something, double book our calendars, or can't be like the other lady down the street who "has it all together".

We live in a world filled with judgment, negativity, and assumptions. We are hard on each other. We are hard on ourselves. Harshness is dealt on a daily basis, in reality, for the simplest of mistakes.

I love to read the stories in the Bible and see all the things that our Jesus did. But we can learn a lot from what he didn't do.

In all four gospels, we read of Peter. He makes me smile a lot. He is full of less than holy humanity much of the time, but God turned his imperfections into the most beautiful story.

Probably the most noted story we read of Peter deals with him denying Christ. We have just read of his friendship and love declaration to Jesus at the Last Supper. And then we see him not once, not twice, but three times deny that he even knew his fearless leader and friend. He weeps and then he disappears from scripture for a bit.

In John 21, we see Peter and Jesus reunited. At first Peter can't even tell it's Christ on the shore, but when he does, his reaction is beautiful. Peter is too excited to row the boat to shore. He jumps out of his fishing boat and swims to where Jesus is. Can you imagine his joy? His best friend and Savior is alive! But I also bet he had a bit of fear.

"Is he going to still love me after I disowned him?"

In the true nature of himself, Jesus then serves his friends...he cooks dinner for them. They eat together. Then scripture lets us see a conversation between Jesus and Peter.

"Do you love me?"

Jesus asked Peter that question not once, not twice, but three times.

It is my belief that there are no such things as coincidences.

After Peter affirms his love and devotion to Christ, Jesus tells him to feed and care for His sheep. And he assures him that he will be guided and cared for as he guides and cares for God's people. Jesus let's Peter know he is loved as well, even after a pretty major mistake.

We don't see Jesus lash out and harshly condemn Peter. He isn't frustrated, offended, or filled with too hot of a temper. We do not see Christ filled with pride and disgust. He doesn't throw a slur or lash out with his opinion of Peter's behavior. He doesn't log onto the hottest of social media sites and rant about how stupid and wrong Peter was.

Jesus cooks him dinner and has a loving conversation, restoring the relationship without questioning motive, intent, or the reason for a mistake.

We need to realize others around us have bad days. People in our lives will mess up in small ways, and they will make the biggest of mistakes. Cashiers will give back incorrect change. Fast food orders will be wrong. Kids will spill drinks and act like kids. We will see people loose their cool and say the wrong things. People we love will cheat and lie. Folks we know will make mistakes. We will make mistakes.

Another's shortcomings do not give us permission to condemn them or excuse our own bad behavior.

So I am challenging myself and all of you. Let's speak only kind words when we run across the simple everyday mistakes. Post and tweet only the optimistic. Like the good statuses, pray for the not so good. Don't be so easily offended. Let's keep our opinions to ourselves if they can't be delivered with love. And be respectful of others' opinions. Be patient with the people who need it the most. Don't give up on the people you love when they mess up. Love on them a little harder. Find the good God intends us to find in the most difficult of situations.

We are all human and we are in need of grace. The kind of grace Jesus showed Peter. The kind of grace Jesus extends to each of us, day in and day out. And humanity is the only chance we have at seeing that grace in action each and every day.                                                                                  

In Less Than Four Years

What a busy but blessed season this is! It seems as though our feet are hitting the ground just as fast as our heads are hitting the pillow each night. The door to the house has become a revolving one.  It brings in old and new friends and sweet family members on an hourly basis it seems. It warms my heart and fills our home with love.

We have survived TCAP week, seen the end of another school year, and enjoyed a trip to Disney World. Jackson and Nancy Caroline have played a lot of baseball and softball, while Sadie continues to work hard at gymnastics. They have a slew of summer camps between the three of them. Michael and I have helped with the planning of WeCareCannon, started the ball rolling for Saba Summer Missions, and most importantly are working happily at being mom and dad.

Our family also saw Michel and Myron finish a school year at Lipscomb and head home for the summer. Wait...some of you still ask the question as to who these two fellas are. So, in a nut shell, they are our honorary "sons" from Saba.

Michel, the younger of the two, successfully finished his freshman year. He seems to have settled in well and even joined us on a mission trip back to his home island in March. I am very proud of him.

Myron graduated from Lipscomb with a degree in Enterprenership. He has worked so very hard and before he headed home to Saba for the summer he turned 21 and took the GMAT. We anxiously await the results and pray fervently for his success.

Those two words...Myron graduated...

In less than four years, one can get a degree from a very reputable Southern Christian university. In less than four years, a very young high school student can become a more than confident college graduate. In that short amount of time a young man can be on the brink of the business world.

In less than four years, an international student can make his way to a big U.S. City and lean upon the help of some senior college students to help him figure things out and begin to find his way. He can become roommates with a couple of "small town country boys". In the midst of dorm life with them he can find that small towns aren't that different from small islands.  These roommates can also become the best of friends.

In less than four years, a young man can learn a new culture. He opens his mind and can see good things. But he can also identify the bad, and he can learn from both. The young man can learn the lingo of the people he has been emerged into. He can adapt to the differences, but he can stay very true to his roots and where he comes from. He can respectfully love both "homes" and realizes that the knowledge and love of both are a true gift from God.

In less than four years, a thirty something mother of three can learn how to grocery shop for a host of the males species. She can take ground beef and learn every recipe under the sun to make it as diverse as possible. She can learn to change bed sheets in the blink of an eye. That mom can learn to hold her breath a total of 36 seconds. That's how long it takes her to empty the clothes basket of 3 boys sweaty ball clothes into the washing machine.

That same mom can learn to appreciate the game of basketball in less than four years. She can learn the names of Los Angeles Laker players. She can get use to having a Florida Gator football fan in her house. In less than four years, the ESPN sports center chime can become one of her favorite sounds.

But more importantly, in less than four years a mom can learn her arms can hold the tiniest of babies, but they feel just as nice wrapped around her 20 year old "son" in a hug of encouragement.

In less than four years, a man can be faced with a bit of a dilemma. "Am I a dad? Am I a brother? Am I a mentor?"  Finally that man can figure out that he is a bit of all three, and he can be very content with that realization. He can go on adventures, give advice, be a friend, and gently guide.

In less than four years, a big brother can become a little brother.  Two little sisters can find themselves not in the majority any longer. Children are resilient and have the innocently big hearts that so many of us need to revert back to. So these siblings very easily open their exclusive club for another, and then another. In less than four years, they can gain two big brothers.

In less than four years, a family of five can very quickly become a family of six and then seven.  That family can see the best out of each other, but can love each other through the worst. They can have expectations, but they learn to not make demands. They cheer each other on, they celebrate birthdays, and give each other encouragement. They laugh on road trips, play games around the kitchen table, and enjoy frequent trips to the Chinese buffet. The family worships together, invites the neighbors to play Sunday afternoon kickball, and learns the quickest route between Woodbury and Lipscomb.

In less than four years, one's heart can become happier...fuller...bigger.

In less than four years, I have learned so much from watching a 17 year old, 6'4", basketball loving, Caribbean boy become a 21 year old, broad shouldered, highly educated,  professional young man.  I have watched him love God, love on others, and love on us.

When Myron came I had no idea what we were saying "yes" to as he came to house on weekends.  What I have learned the most during these four years is this...

If you live your life open to God's story continuing to be written in you, you most certainly will impact others, you will change people, you will disciple. You also will step outside your comfort zone, you will be confused at times, and you will be pushed to some limits.

But what you do not realize is that the greatest change you see will be how God changes you.  He will open your mind.  He will cause you to see that things are not about comfort and staying in the "bubble" of the small town American lifestyle. God will cause you to see that everything He has given you...your house, your car, your family, your talents...are not to be hoarded up for yourself and your inner circle. They are the tools He will use to grow the Kingdom through your walk with Him.

Open the doors of you home. Don't be afraid of your dirty laundry being aired out. Welcome in folks. Feed them. Set at the table with them. Talk with them. Let them see the life you live. Watch how they live. Learn from them and let them learn from you.

"Always be eager to practice hospitality..." Romans 12:13

I can still remember the first weekend Myron came "home" from Lipscomb. I worked so hard with my Martha mentality to ready the house. Our friend Shelton dropped him off. I remember the anxiety I felt wondering if he'd like our home life and what he expected out of this crazy Tennessee family of five.  Could he take all the chaos and the noise? Would he be happy with what I cooked? He was about to see the "real" us, not the "10 day to two week mission trip us". Would he be disappointed?

Now I find myself holding all the answers to those questions. He loves us and our home...the good, the bad, and the ugly. He became one of us and we became one of him. The joy this brings me is unmatched.

So I sit now and miss his presence. Summer months are a bit too long. I already long to hear Myron and Michel banter back and forth as brothers do. I miss seeing him sit at his"office". I miss the sound of socca music bellowing from upstairs. I miss the sound of his chuckles from a random commercial or you tube video.  Normal Thomas family life includes Myron and Michel's presence...the anxiety now is in the waiting of their return.

God is good...all we have to do is open our doors...and our hearts.  You never can imagine what He will do. I mean, just look at what He did in less than four years.